Do You Think
by sexybeardedlover
Summary: Vince's estranged older brother shows up, causing some issues to arise. A lot of crap goes down. ROMANCE AND ANGST AND ALL THAT GOODNESS! Vince/OC, but mostly Howince XD sorry about that...R&R...please please please!
1. William

**A/N: Well, this is my first Mighty Boosh fanfic...and this idea randomly came to me...I don't remember how...it just did.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the brilliance that is the Mighty Boosh...Julian and Noel and Baby Cow Productions do...I just own William...he is mine...but if you'd like to rent him, message me and we may come up with a deal. (I also own Meghan, but she doesn't come in yet...)**

**Summary: Howard and Vince have the day off when Naboo decides to close the Nabootique on a very rainy day. So, they get ready to go to the movies, but just as fun shall ensue someone very, very unexpedted shows up. People cry, people forget things, people get confused, and Howince emerges out of nowhere...............BOOM!  
**

**Warning: This is an angsty chapter. A very angsty chapter indeed...but never fear for the next chapter will be full of lollipops, and treacle tarts, and ice cream (if you didn't get the hint there you may want to look through a list of the bestest movies from the 1960s)  
**

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It was a regular rainy, but beautiful day in the streets of Dalston. Howard could hear the rain dropping in sounds patterns on thw windows as he stepped down the stairs into the Nabootique. Reaching the bottom he took a deep breath. He could smell the fresh scent of the rain even from inside the shop and it made him smile.

"Lovely," he said quietly to himslelf.

Walking over to Stationary Village he could hear the fain singing of Gary Numan from within the cupboard..."Doo doo doo Peacock Dreams."

"Really, Gary, it's been over two months since Naboo told us about that!" Howard said, annoyed. "It's not in the script anymore."

"Sorry," Gary apologised and went back to being not there.

Howard stared intently at Stationary Village trying to decide if he would rearrange it or if you would leave it as it commonly was. Now, Howard usually didn't like to change something that was always the same. He liked sticking to his schedule and his organization, but he was feeling in a bit of a rebellious mood on this rainy morning. He looked at the pens.

"Hmmmmm..." he breathed. "What if..." he moved the pens beside the Sellotape tree. "Yes...I think that will definitely work."

Just then, a rush of air brushed past him in the shape of a very feminine man with the best hair ever. "Howard!" Cried Vince.

Howard spun around in shock and caught Vince as he slid towards him on the slippery floor.

"Woah, woah, Vince, what happened?" Howard yelled as the fell the floor.

Vince started laughing and stood back up in hysterics. Getting to his feet, he helped Howard back up and tried hard to cease his laughter.

Tears dripping from his eyes, Vince breathed in sharply to compose himself. "God, I'm sorry, but Naboo said we don't have to open the shop today."

"Oh, and you had to rush down like a bullet!" Howard exclaimed. "You nearly gave me heart attack, Vince!"

"I'm sorry, Howard," Vince smiled his smile, not seeming to care that his hair was a mess and he was still wear his pyjamas. "I'm really excited! We've got a day off we can go to a film or something!"

"We could, but I'm a busy man, Vince," said Howard. "I have to finish rearranging Stationary Village and then I have a Jazz Trance scheduled for exactly 10:13 a.m."

"Oh, come on, Howard! We haven't done anything fun in ages! We've not had a day off in a month and half! We have to do something!"

"Well..."

"Come on, Howard...you know you want to go to the movies. I hear there's some good stuff in theatres right now."

"But...you'll not want to go outside in this rain...it'll ruin your hair."

"I don't care!"

Howard just stared at Vince, not believing a word he'd just said. _I don't care_ was not something Vince would generally say about the state of his hair.

"What?" Vince cried.

"Your hair is your pride and joy, Vince, lying won't get you anywhere."

"I lie all the time, Howard, you're too thick to notice," Vince said cheekily. "And anyway, I've got a genius new rain jacket. It's vintage."

"I'm not thick, sir, my mind is just full of so many brilliant ideas that I haven't always got the time to notice your deceit."

"Yeah, that's just another way to explain complete idiot."

"Shut it!"

"Alright, alright, sorry."

There was a short silence in which Vince just smiled like the lovely electro freak of a ponce that he was.

"So, do you want to go see a film?"

"Yes, just let me finish rearranging Stationary Village," Howard replied and turned back to his place of interest.

"Brilliant, I need to get dressed," Vince said. He then caught a glimpse of his reflection in the window and screeched making Howard jump, dropping a byro to the floor. "My hair looks well mangled! I better go Nicky Clarke it to life."

"Good idea, sir, don't want you scaring the locals."

"We are the locals, Howard," Vince shook his head laughing and jogged up the stairs to the flat.

Howard scat sang happily himself as he carefully moved one tree of a piece stationary over to the original setting for the duck pond of another piece of stationary.

He was nearly finished, when a knock at the door startled him.

"We're closed, " he called out. But the knocking continued hectically. "Alright," he said. "I'm coming."

He turned and walked towards the door, only seeing a dark figure covering himself with his blue suit jacket so as not to be completely soaked by the consistent shower of rain.

Howard unlocked the door and pulled it open.

"We're closed," he repeated. The man just puched by into the shop and stood there shivering. "You can't do that! We're closed."

"Yes, I know," said the very wet, but well-suited man.

Howard knew that voice. It was a voice he hadn't heard in over seven years and he wondered why heard it now.

"William?" he said, hesitantly.

"Howard..." he replied.

"What the hell are you doing here, William?!" Howard yelled. "You know this was a terrible idea!"

"I'm sorry, Howard, really, but..."

"What you're in trouble again?" Howard spat out. "You're always in trouble. I promised Vince I'd never let you hurt him again and look, here you are."

"Mum told me you lived here..."

"I didn't ask how you found us, Will," Howard growled. "Why are you here? You've done enough damage as it is. When did your mother start talking to you?"

"It's been a few months."

"Can't you say anything that might actually explain yourself?" Howard was clearly very distraught and he couldn't hold in his anger.

"I just want to make peace," William said, innocently. He looked his big blue eyes right into Howard's eyes and pleaded. "I've come to ask for forgiveness."

"Well, mate, you're not gonna get it," said Howard, bitterly. "Goodbye, you can show yourself out."

"Please, Howard, I know what I did was horrible, but my mum was able to forgive me...can't you? Can't Vince?" William said, tears welling up in his eyes.

"No, I can't," said Howard. "And I have a pretty strong feeling that Vince won't be able to either."

"I _know_ what I did was horrible," William said again, emphasizing it even more than the last time.

"What did you do, William?" Howard asked, angrily. "What was it exactly, cos I'm finding it really hard to remember if you think you can be forgiven!"

William said something inaudbly, but shamefully.

"What?"

"I...almost killed Vince..."

"And then..."

"I left."

"Yeah...you abandoned your own brother, William, you're own bloody brother."

"I...I couldn't..."

"Couldn't what? Face the shame? Cos that's what a real man would do..." Howard said. "You're a coward..."

"I know."

"It would have been easier to forgive you if you'd actually stayed around to help Vince get better when he was in the hospital for six months." Howard started shaking his head. "It's been too long...Will...too long."

"Please, Howard..."

"It's up to Vince," Howard replied looking towards the stairs. "He could have died...and you know...I don't want him to go through anymore hurt."

"I've gotten help, Howard," William protested. "I've cleaned myself up well. I have a job and a family."

Howard laughed harshly. "A family?" He said, dubiously. "You obviously didn't tell them about the incident."

"I did..."

"They're fools."

"Maybe they are," William smiled slightly. "But at least someone was able to love me."

"Do you think Vince stopped loving you, Will?" Howard asked. " The biggest problem was that you just left. You just ran off without looking him in the eye. You left when he sat laying on the ground bleeding."

"Do you think I don't regret it, Howard?" William said. "I was young and stupid...you know me, Howard. I was scared."

"For yourself!" Howard yelled. "You didn't even care about Vince! You left him as he was dying...and he was dying because you--"

"Don't say it."

"Shot him." Howard growled anyway. He wasn't going to let William get away with anything."

"I worried about him...everyday."

"You know...they weren't going to press charges...but they couldn't even find you!"

"I know..."

Howard was fuming. His face had gone red and he could feel his insides burning with anger. "And here you are...out of the blue...it isn't fair to Vince...and you shouldn't come begging for forgiveness...you should leave."

"Howard!" Vince said as he bounded down the stairs like a happy puppy.

"Vince!" Said William looking hopefully towards the stairs.

Vince came to the landing, smiling his usual jolly smile. He was wearing a red rain jacket that came to his knees and his white boots reaching his thighs.

He saw William and said nothing. His smile faded to a look that of pain and sorrow.

He took a deep breath.

"Vince?" William repeated.

"No..." whispered Vince, sternly and ran back up the stairs.

"I think you've got your answer, Will..." Howard said quietly, but painfully. "I think you should go now."

William nodded his head in sorrow and turned towards the door.

"But...thank you..." Howard whispered then went up the stairs after Vince.

William stood in spot for a few seconds and began to sob uncontrollably. Ten minutes later he continued on through the door and out to the rainy gray streets of London.

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_**Please Review...(ps I know this chapter makes you want to kill yourself but it gets happier and stuff.)**_  
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	2. Pictionary

**A/N: HELLO!!!! Thank you with much passion and joy LittlePurpleMonster for adding this crazy story to their favourites and alerts. You are a shining star created from sparkly beings like Noel Fielding (oh goody cheesiness)**

**Disclaimer: Since the world and all of it's creators dislike me I am neither Noel Fielding nor Julian Barratt...But this is why the brilliant invention of fanfiction came into being so people like I could write some weird ass stuff for the world to enjoy. But I do own William and the loverly Meghan (who in all respects...is awesome)  
**

**Now, prepare yourself for confusion to ensue...**

**(ps tonic water actually does glow in the dark I learned it i Science class on Monday)  
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Vince and Meghan lay sleeping on the sofa. They were cuddled up together with a sparkly pink blanket wrapped around them, both snoring softly.

Howard tiptoed over to the snoozing couple and looked over at them. He smiled, happy to see Vince looking so contented where he was, even if he was completely out. He sipped his tea thoughtfully, letting the warm Earl Grey warm him up so he felt strong enough to go downstairs and open up shop.

Howard drank the remains of his tea, then cleaned out the cup and set it down on the counter to dry.

As quietly as possible, he hurried down the stairs into the Nabootique. Rain was beating furiously against the window, but Howard didn't care. He was in a good, if not slightly rebellious mood on this fine but extremely wet day. He made his way over to Stationary Village and, because he was feeling so very rebellious, decided to rearrange it.

Just as he was about to swap the Sellotape tree with the blu-tack garden, he heard the faint singing of Gary Numan emanating from the cupboard.

"Doo doo doo peacock dreams..."

"Oi, Gary, that's enough of that now," Howard exclaimed. "That's not part of the script anymore!"

"Sorry," Gary said and retreated back into being not there.

Howard was quite pleased with himself in his very clever new arrangement of Stationary Village. "Ha ha, comin' atcha like a beam, like a ray, they call me the Rearranger! I'm comin' to rearrange ya, watch out!"

"Who calls you the rearranger?" A Welsh accent made him jump and turn around.

"Bloody hell, Meghan! You nearly gave me a heart attack!" Howard roared.

"Did you just roar at me?" Meghan questioned, furrowing her eyebrows.

"Yes I did, sir, I'm the Roaring Rearranger."

"Right..." She smiled. "As long as I've known you, Howard, no one's ever called you the Roaring Rearranger...anyway, it makes you sound like a puppet off Sesame Street."

Before Howard got a chance to scold Meghan with a _brilliant_ come back, Vince flew down the stairs in a happy wind.

"Alright!" He said, running into the two and sending them all toppling to the floor.

Howard stood up, frowning agnrily at the hysterically laughing couple.

"Sorry, Howard," Vince laughed. "Didn't mean to knock you guys over."

"I find it hard to believe that, love..." Meghan giggled.

"If it was just you maybe," Vince smiled cheekily, winking at his girlfriend. "But Howard had ruin the moment."

"Excuse me, sir!" Howard said. "I don't ruin moments! I just create beautiful ones!"

"Yeah, alright," Vince laughed as he wrapped his arms around Meghan and kissed her gently on the cheek.

"Anyway," Meghan said. "What brought you down here in such a rush, Vince?"

"Oh yeah, Naboo said we don't have to open up the shop today," He replied. "So, I thought we could all go see a film."

"That sounds fun," Meghan smiled. "I hear there's some good stuff playing right now."

"How 'bout it, Howard? We haven't had a day off in months! We can do something fun!"

"Won't the rain ruin your precious hair, Vince?"

"Naw, I've got a brilliant new rain jacket," Vince said enthusiastically.

Meghan nodded in agreement. "It's vintage!"

"Well, I don't know, sir. I'm a busy man!"

"Busy?" Vince scoffed. "All you ever do these days is rearrange Stationary Village!"

"No, just today, since I was feeling in a slightly rebellious mood," Howard protested.

"Well then, rebel!" Cried Meghan. "We're going to have a genius day! Even with all the rain!"

"Yeah," agreed Vince. "We haven't hung out in ages, Howard. We need to catch up!"

"I see you every day, Vince!" Howard said. "Last night we even did a good crimp!"

"That's true," Vince smiled. "It was a pretty wicked crimp."

"Yes, it was, sir," Howard replied. "Do we really need to catch up?"

"S'pose not, but come on, Howard!" Vince exclaimed. "You're my best mate and we are gonna have a well genius day."

"Hey, we don't even have to go to the movies!" Meghan said. "We could stay home and do some fun stuff since it's raining cats and dogs out there! We could play pictionary!"

"Oh no!" Howard yelled, terrified. "No, I don't like pictionary with you, Meghan...it's much too competitive!"

"But that's the game, Howard," explained Vince.

"No, it isn't fun," Howard said.

"Well that's just cos you always lose."

"If I could be paired with someone who can actually see, you'll see that I'm very good at this game." Howard said.

"That's not fair, Howard!" Vince said. "Your Lester Corncrake's only friend and he's yours!"

"I have friends, sir! Good friends, better than Lester Corncrake!"

"Alright, Howard, now you're just being mean!" Meghan scolded. "Lester's a very nice man."

"Yeah, I'm not saying he isn't!"

"But he's your friend, Howard," Meghan smiled and pointed a finger towards the Northerner.

"So, do you want to do something fun, Howard?" Asked Vince. "Or are you going to spend the rest of the day deciding if the blu-tack garden should actually be on the far left side of Stationary Village?"

"Yes..."

Meghan and Vince broke out into cheers and started dancing around the room.

"Yay, it'll be brilliant!" Meghan enthused, throwing her arms in the air. "We're going to have a fun day of board games."

"I used to hate board games," Vince pointed out, getting a bit of a confused look on his face.

Meghan gave him a sly smile and said in a sing song voice, "but..."

"You seemed to have changed my view on things over the past few years."

Meghan's faced could have lit the room up if smiles could actually give off light. but whose to say they can't? She could have drunk a lot of tonic water, which actually glows in the dark!

"I love you," Meghan whispered into Vince's ear as they hugged tightly, not wanting to let one another go.

"I love you too," Vince replied, and then placed a soft kiss onto Meghan's full lips.

Howard grinned at them. It still made him happy to see them so happy, even though Meghan and Vince had been together for years already. Howard just couldn't fight the feeling of warmth that swelled up inside him when he saw Vince smile so brightly. There was nothing in the world like Vince's smile. Even Meghan's mouth full of ic water couldn't compare. Vince's smile was something Howard cherished that he could see every day. And so, looking like an idiot, Howard beamed at the couple, if not only Vince.

Vince noticed the way Howard was watching them and eyed him suspiciously. He laughed a little, finding it funny how happy it made him feel to see Howard grinning so widely.

"We love you too, Howard," Vince exclaimed.

"Oh yes!" Meghan yelled happily. "There's enough love to go around!"

The two shuffled over to try and hug Howard as well but he stood away frowning. "Hey, hey there, kids. Don't touch me!"

"Oh right," Vince smiled apologetically. He didn't generally want to apologize, but he thought nothing of it then put it to the back of his mind. "So, let's go back up stairs, then!"

"Yeah," Howard replied. "Just let me finish up rearranging Stationary Village and I'll be up."

"Okay," Meghan said. "Don't stay too long."

Meghan and Vince ran up the stairs giggling hysterically like children.

The sound of Vince's laughter emanated down the stairs into the shop and Howard couldn't help but smile. He didn't understand the effect that Vince had on him. They were best mates, and Howard just wanted Vince to stay down there in the shop with him. Juat to stay there and laugh just for him. Howard laughed at himself a bit and soon went back to fixing up Stationary Village.

A sudden knock on the door, made Howard drop a pen.

"I'm sorry, we're closed!" He called out instinctively, but the knocking continued hectically on the glass door.

Howard sighed and went to open the door. He slowly unlocked it and pulled the door open.

"We're closed," he repeated.

"Yeah, sorry," said William running in from out of the rain.

"Oh, hello, Will," Howard smiled and closed the door. "I thought you working today!"

"I am," William answered. His face was suddenly bright with what seemeto be relief and sheer joy. "I thought I'd stop in and say hello."

"Hello," Howard said, cheerily. "We're actually going to have a games day today cos it's raining so hard outside. You can join us if you like."

"Oh, but I have to get to work," He was still looking much too euphoric for a man of his 'look'. He looked like a regular stick-up businessman, with his blue suit and trimmed short dark hair.

"Of course, sorry," Howard said. "Was there anything you needed?"

"Uh--"

But he was interrupted by the jolly sounds of Vince and Meghan boucing down the stairs in a wave of childish laughter.

"You almost ready?" Meghan asked, barely noticing the guest.

"Yeah, I was just about done," Howard replied.

Vince looked over at his older brother and smiled. "Alright, Will, you here to play pictionary too?"

"No, I'm just off to work."

Vince's face fell. "But it's been a while, Will. We haven't spoken to eachother in a few weeks now."

"Well..."

"Oh come on, Willy Boy!" Meghan cried, once again flinging her arms out in what was meant to be a convincing gesture. "We need a partner for Howard that isn't blind."

"Well..." William knew he was going to agree, but he loved this. He loved hearing people wanting him to join their game.

"We don't want the man to skip work!" Howard said, defensive for his best friend's brother.

"Actually," William started and everyone's face lit up more. The happiness in the room was reaching a very threatening sense of zeal, but it seemed strangely normal to everyone. "I haven't had a sick day in a few months, I could call in sick."

"Genius!" Vince and Meghan exclaimed at the same time.

And with that, the four all went up the stairs into the flat. They were either whistling happily or thinking happy and mischievous thoughts, or belting Don't Cry For Me, Argentina at the top of her lungs while swinging their red dress around.

Of course, Meghan was now nothing less than family and her constant singing of showtunes had become a necessity to the well-being of their daily activities.

And so, the rough and torturous game of the dreaded pictionary began...

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**Please review, my lieblings. I promise all shall be explained. But in the meantime, what do you think has happened, if it isn't obvious enough already? 3333333333333333**


	3. Dreaming my Dreams

**A/N: Hello, me dear little children. Firstly, I got a review :D From someone called anonymous. Well, I've never heard of that being a name before, but of course they anonymousy reviewed so it musn't be their actual name. Well thank you so much, anonymous, you have made me a very happy person. And thank you to thelionheartedgirl for adding this story to her favourites! You havw also made me a very happy person :D**

**This chapter was named after the song by The Cranberries...I'm going to do a lot of musically titled/based chapters (but not songfics, I don't like them all that much)**

**I mentioned before that the next chapter would have treacle tarts, lollipops, and ice cream in it. Well I skipped a chapter and put it in this one. Not literal...just a line from the best character in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang  
**

**Anyway, I actually do own the Mighty Boosh, but Noel and Julian told me I'm not aloud to tell anyone, because then all hell will break loose. But I can't just sit around and watch them get all the credit! That's not fair!**

**Noel: Oh my God, it's that Canadian freak that tells everyone she owns the Boosh again! **

**Winter: What? Nooooooooo**

**Julian: Get her Bollo!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Boosh. (Or Chitty Chitty Bang Bang or Pictionary or Clue or Scrabble or a graveyard...)  
**

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They'd had one long, fun day of playing games. Pictionary had gone down well, with Meghan and Vince winning three times in a row. They had, of course, only played three times. Next, was Clue, which Naboo won, but Howard argued that it didn't count because he was a shaman. Naboo retorted that he had excellent detective skills, and din't use his magic to cheat at board games. This, then, caused an uproar about how Naboo uses his powers for a lot of things that he shouldn't. So, Meghan pulled out Scrabble saying that you couldn't possibly cheat at it.

Vince suggested that they play Scrabble in a graveyard, which earned some strange looks. In the end, it was much too rainy ti even go to a graveyard.

It was a good day, though it had rained for the entirety of it. William went home at six after his wife had called and and yelled for not going to work and how he should get his arse home or else he'd miss dinner.

At dinner, Howard, Vince, Meghan, Naboo, and Bollo all sat on the floor in the living room and ate. while they ate they played twenty questions. They had changed the rules a bit, because they thought that 20 questions wasn't always fair. So, it ended up being something more along the lines of 'Many Questions'. It also gave everyone more of chance when Meghan chose to think of obscure musicians from Canada that no one had heard of. She thought it was fair, because this way she'd actually know something everyone else didn't. Vince ended up guessing most of Meghan's right because he'd listened to her rant enough.

After dinner, Vince and Meghan snuggled up together on the sofa and starting watching Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. While Naboo and Bollo tried to sleep, they couldn't. Vince and Meghan were belting the songs at the top of their lungs not caring that they sounded screechy and annoying. They were just enjoying eachother's company. Which they still did even though they had lived together for the past two years.

Howard sat at the kitchen table sipping his tea. He watched the happy couple blissfully as they made complete fools of themselves. Well, they would have been making complete fools of themselves if they'd been in public, but for Howard this was just an everyday thing to happen. He found himself, for what felt like the hundredth time today, just watching vince and being happy that he was happy. Howard didn't remember ever being this occupied by Vince's glee. It scared him a little bit. What was making him so indterested in what Vince was doing? It seemed sort of out of place. But he continued watching and smiling and loving every little smile that Vince made. Their eyes caught for a few seconds, and Howard could swear that Vince looked the brightest he had that night in that moment.

"Well," Howard said, standing up and placing his mug in the sink. "I'm off to bed now."

"Alright, night, Howard!" Meghan said, before pausing the movie and jumping over and straddling Vince. Before Vince had a chance to protest the pausing of the movie, Meghan burst out into song. "You're my little teddy bear!"

Vince began laughing hysterically, forgetting that Howard had said a thing. He lost himself in his outgoing girlfriend with argument about the best Chitty Chitty Bang Bang character. Meghan would not give up the Child Catcher. Vince did not understand how he was her favourite, it didn't seem like her at all.

"But he's such a paedophile!" Vince laughed.

"Yes, but honestly he's hilarious!" Meghan protested. "Come on, the best part in the movie is when he's going around being all creepy saying 'treacle tarts, lollipops, ice cream!' It's priceless, Vince! It's priceless!"

Vince hung his head down and smiled slightly. "Yeah I do like that part."

"Everyone likes that part, Vince!" Meghan said, yawning and laying down into her boyfriend's lap.

"I think the grandfather is quite genius though,"

"I agree, he's my second favourite character."

They yawned at the same time and gave eachother knowing looks.

"Bedtime?" Meghan sighed.

"Yeah," Vince replied.

They hopped in bed and cuddled together closely, drifting off to a deep sleep as they thought about Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

As Howard drifted off to sleep he thought of Vince. He wasn't exactly sure why, but his dream felt like a memory. A memory that he was certain had never happened.

_He was sitting on the roof with Vince. He was blatantly depressed have rather been left alone. Vince was hiding from the head shaman because he'd gone into a closet with Dennis' wife. Howard didn't really care, he was just really pissed off that he was virgin. Vince was trying to comfort him, but Howard hadn't ever kissed anyone or held anyone's hand...he didn't like being touched. He was trying to convince his best friend that he had deeper, meaningful relationships in his mind at a distance. Vince seemed to be bit creeped out by that, bringing up an incident with binoculars. Of course, that had never been proved, yet it was still in The Guardian._

_Dennis, in all his rage, emerged from the window that served as a door onto the roof  
_

_"Ah, there you are, you prancing kingfisher, prepare to die!"_

_"Look," said Vince, "I'm not interested in your wife, we were just standing in a cupboard together!"_

_"Just in the cupboard with an extreme sports model? I don't think so!"_

_Howard was sitting back, not wanting to irritate the situation any further, but of course Vince had to ruin it._

_"Honestly, I'm not interested in your wife!" Vince explained. "I'm in love woith someone already!"_

_"The lies of a backtracking worm!"_

_"I'm in love with Howard!"_

_Howard wasn't sure what to do, but he didn't want his best mate to get beheaded so he helped out._

_"Oh, yeah, we're in love..."_

_"Prove it!" growled Dennis._

_And the next thing Howard knew, Vince's lips were on his just kissing away._

_Howard was so confused and entranced by this moment, he didn't hear Dennis reel away in disgust and leave. All he knew was that Vince was kissing him. Kissing him! And he wasn't actually kissing back. He couldn't, he wasn't all that sure how._

_Howard smiled against Vince's kissing. He smiled._

And when he woke up, he smiled, feeling somewhat confused, somewhat finally unserstanding.

He took a deep breath and got out of bed. He needed to clear his head. He needed to figure out why that dream had felt like a memory. And he needed to figure out why Vince had kissed him. Why? Why? Why? Why? He went to the kitchen and made himself a cup of tea. That would clear his head.

* * *

Vince was sleeping soundly with his arms tight and comfortable around Meghan. He was completely contented. Nothing could make him sad. Nothing in the entire universe could possibly make him sad.

_He dreamt of kissing Howard. Howard wasn't kissing back, but Vince was. He was giving it his all and he wasn't even sure why. Well, he knew why. He had to prove to the head shaman that he wasn't interested in his wife, they were just standing in a cupboard together. The first thing he could think of to say was that he was in love with Howard. Then he had to kiss him. He had to, there was no alternative. Well, it had gotten Dennis away._

_They'd stopped ki_ss_ing. He was trying to convince himself and Howard that it was nothing, it was just a kiss_. _Just a kiss. But he could still feel Howard's moustache on his face. He could still Howard smiling against his mouth. He could still feel everything. And that was...a good thing._

And when he woke up, he smiled. Why was he smiling? He frowned, then. Feeling very confused. He'd never had a dream like this before. and why did this dream feel like a memory? He sat up in bed, loosening his grip on his girlfriend. He looked down at her. Meghan was looking beautiful and so peaceful sleeping there in his arms. He was confused, because he loved Meghan and suddenly some really weird feelings for Howard had welled up inside him.

This wasn't right. Even though something about felt...right. It just wasn't.

He got up from his bed and quietly left his bedroom, being careful no to wake his girlfriend. He tip toed down the hallway to the kitchen.

Getting there, he tripped over a shoe and made a small yelping sound.

"Vince?" He heard Howard say from the kitchen table.

"Howard?!" Vince exclaimed, as quietly as he could. "What are you doing here?"

"Erm...tea," he said, awkwardly. He could feel tension rising. Vince didn't know what he's dreamt about, he needed to act as natural as possible. "I couldn't sleep."

"Oh yeah..." Vince said. He knew how tense he looked. He had to relax, Howard didn't know anything about his dream. "Me neither."

"Do you want some tea?" Howard asked. It seemed like the best thing to ask. What else would he ask? 'What did you just dream about?' Ridiculous. He was just acting like Howard did. And he was Howard. He was sure he was Howard.

"Cheers, Howard," Vince smiled and sat at the table across from his best friend.

Ah, so he was Howard. That was good.

There was silence. A very weird silence. Since, neither of them knew why the other was being silent. It seemed to Howard that Vince was just having trouble sleeping. That happened to Vince sometimes, when he had a very exciting dream...

Dream...

Howard had had a dream he couldn't get out of his head. He wasn't able to clear his mind, the kiss would just reappear.

Vince just thought Howard was having some trouble sleeping. That happened to Howard sometimes, when he had a very exciting dream...

Dream...

Vince had had a dream he couldn't get out of his head. He tried to convince himself that it was wrong, but that kiss, even though it was _only_ a dream, seemed...right.

They smiled at eachother.

Vince needed to think of something to say. "Erm..."

"Yeah?" asked Howard, as he handed a mug to Vince.

"Thanks..." Vince blew on his tea and then lifted his eyes to Howard's gaze. "D'you remember that time at the zoo when we had name a bunch of new animals that came in?"

"Yeah, but you wouldn't let me name any of them," Howard smiled at the memory.

"I did! I let you name that llama, cos you were like th Llama man!"

"I was, that is what they called me!"

"Actually, I think they just called you the freak with the moustache," Vince smiled. "I called you the Moustachioed Freak. Nicer ring." He stuck his tongue out at the side of his mouth a little bit.

Howard shook his head, why had he never realized it before. He was smiling, he was so happy, even though Vince was telling him something that should be hurting his feelings. His feelings were the furthest thing from being hurt though. He knew how much Vince actually cared about him.

"What?" said Vince.

"Nothing," Howard grinned. "Just...we've got some pretty good memories haven't we, little man?"

"Yeah," Vince agreed. He thought of something to say...but he wasn't sure if he should say it or not. He decided to anyway, because Howard deserved to know. "I don't actually think you're a moustachioed freak, though."

"I know," Howard laughed. "I know you don't."

Vince sighed. "Good. Phew, good we got that out of the way." Then he laughed self consciously. "He he."

"How's your tea?"

Vince took a sip and smiled. "Perfect, Howard, cheers."

And then there was silence again. This time it was a comfortable silence. They were just happy to be sitting there together, knowing that neither one of them hated the other. They were still dreaming their dreams. Still thinking about what had happened in them. And they didn't seem to care. They were happy the other didn't know about the dream. That would have been embarassing.

"We have a serious problem!" They heard coming up the stairs. It was Naboo. They hadn't known he'd gotten upt, but that made since it must have been before Vince and Howard had woken up.

The best friends looked at eachother with worried looks. This couldn't be good.

* * *

**Please review, mein lieblings. It fills me with zeal.**

**Also, if you noticed the 'playing scrabble in a graveyard'...then yeah I totally stole that from Noel Fielding during the intros round of Never Mind the Buzzcocks with Basshunter.  
**


	4. The Spell

**A/N: Hello my loverly little munchkins of life! Anywho...here is the next chapter. Thank you for the two absolutely glorgeous reviews I got on the last chapter. And thank you to duuude for adding my crappy ass story to their story alerts. All of you make me happy fanficker 33**

**So, this chapter sucks...and that's sucks because this is an important chapter...oh well.**

**Also, there will be some panic chapters for every character except Bollo. Not entirely sure why Bollo is excluded, but he is :( ain't that sad. So, this is basically Naboo's panic chapter, but it doesn't really start until the next one.**

**DAMN STRAIGHT I OWN THE BOOSH!**

**Mike: Noel, you remember that Canadian?**

**Noel: Who, Sean Cullen? He's genius, of course I remember him! We would have worked with him on the Boosh, but he had to go back to Cana-**

**Mike: No, the fanficker.**

**Noel: Jesus, not her again! Bollo? We need your muscular strength.**

**Winter: NOOOOOO! PLEASE NO! I LOVE THE SEAN CULLEN! IF I LOVE HIM YOU HAVE TO LET ME GO!**

**Disclaimer: Nope, still not mine...I kind of wish I could be kidnapped by the Boosh ;) And yes I do actually love Sean Cullen, he is genius.  
**

* * *

"Alright, Naboo?" asked Vince, flashing his 'I know it's not alright, but don't you just love me?' smile.

"No, Vince," said Naboo. "It's...awful!"

"What is it?" Howard asked. "A panda steal your favourite hookah?"

"I'm not vince late for work, am I, Howard?" Naboo hissed. Damn straight he hissed. Naboo's like a mad rattlesnake being eaten by a gruffalo at the circus. "You ballbag."

"Sorry, of course not," apologized Howard. "So, what happened?"

Naboo was silent for a few moments, gathering his thoughts. "Well...I'm still not entirely sure, but...I can hardly believe it."

"Can hardly believe what, Naboo?" Vince said, genuinely concerned.

"Someone's cast a spell," Naboo replied.

"It wasn't us," Vince and Howard exclaimed in unison.

"I know," Naboo breathed. "But it has to be someone that knows you both."

"Why?"

"I can tell it was directed to the both of you."

"How?"

"Your auras are both a bit misty and grey."

"What does that mean?" Asked Vince, interested in how Naboo could read auras.

"Well, it was a type of forgetting spell, but much, much more serious and obscure. The people who have been the most affected by forgetting spells end up with a misty, grey aura after it's been cast," Naboo explained.

"Isn't there a counter spell?" Vince questioned.

"No, it wears off on it's own. It only lasts about 24 hours."

"Well, okay then," said Howard and smiled. "There's nothing to worry about."

"Actually..." Naboo mumbled. "you don't understand."

"Well, obviously," cried Vince. "Stop stalling and just tell us what the spell made us forget?"

No one had realized that Vince was actually quite freaked out by this and Naboo and Howard looked at him.

"Please!" Vince said. "Usually you're really blunt. Right now you're just dragging it out like one of Howard's boring stories about people ripping off true be-bop!"

"How about...can you get Meghan?"

"No, she's asleep and I'm going to let her. She has to wake up early in the morning."

"It is early in the morning, Vince!" Naboo yelled. "She needs to hear this too. It's important. This is our lives!"

"Is this a soap opera?" Vince laughed, bitterly. "Yeah, I can tell somrthing's wrong, but can't you tell Meghan in the morning?"

"I don't think we have enough time to wait, Vince."

"But, you said it'll just wear off, it doesn't really matter does it?" Vince said.

"This is more serious then you can imagine. Go wake her up now!" Nabo was completely serious, not that he was never serious. But right now, he was very serious.

"Fine!' Vince spat out and trudged down the hall to his bedroom.

"Meghan," Vince whispered to his girlfriend, kneeling beside their bed. "Meghan, wake up!"

She didn't respond. She lay there, sleeping soundly. So, Vince shook her.

"Meghan, Naboo has something to tell us," she stirred, but didn't seem to register with what was happening. "He says it's important."

He sighed. "I can't do this. She's exhausted."

"Vince?" he heard, mumbled.

"Meghan?"

"What do you want?" She seemed to growl.

"Naboo says something bad's happened," Vince replied, worried his girlfriend might bite his head off.

"No surprise," Meghan breathed, eyes still closed. "What time is it? Are you awake? How long have you been up?"

Vince chuckled at Meghan's rush of questions. She commonly did that when she was half asleep.

"It's around 2:30. Yes, I am awake. And I've only been up for about ten minutes," he answered, pushing Meghan's dark fringe from her eyes. "You have to get up, love."

"I don't want to..."

"I know you don't, but please, Naboo will turn his back on us," Vince pleaded. "He seems really worried. I'm worried too, Meg, I think it's actually really bad. It's not just a small spell."

Meghan groaned, then pushed herself up on her elbows, letting her hair fall messily back into her eyes. "Fine...anything for Naboo." She smirked.

"Morning, kids," Meghan said, eyes still fluttering from sleep depravation. Her and vince entered the kitchen tiredly and both sat down, trying they're best not to fall back asleep. "Everyone have sweet dreams."

There was a moment of hesitation for both Howard and Vince. Vince bit his lip, thinking about it and Howard furrowed his eyebrows.

"Yes," they said together.

"My," Meghan laughed. "You'd think they'd had the same embarassing dream."

"Oh no, sir," said Howard, chuckling nervously. "Not at all."

Vince just smiled, looking bashfully over at Howard. He didn't notice though. He never noticed anything.

"Alright," said Naboo, getting right back to the point. "Someone, i don't know who, has cast a very powerful spell. Now, it isn't permanent, but that isn't really important, because of what actually ensues."

"That makes no sense," Vince said.

"Okay...let me put this bluntly..." he paused. "This life isn't real."

"Blunt, but not very straight forward," Meghan said, confusion clearly playing on her face.

"What I mean is that this is an alternate universe," Naboo explained. "The life we're all leading right now is a lie. I'm not saying it's completely untrue, but it is different. There are main events and people and things that are common in both worlds. Those are generally people you've known for a long time or where you've lived."

"Well, it doesn't seem like it would be much different," Vince observed. "I doubt it would be a big change."

"Actually...that's why I wanted Meghan to be out here..."

"What are you talking about?" she said.

"I don't want it to be true, but..."

"I didn't cast the spell!" She burst out. "This is ridiculous!"

"No, i kno, but..."

"Then what is it?"

"I don't think you're in the other reality."

"What? Like...I don't exist?" Meghan exclaimed.

"I don't know if you're real or if you were created for this universe."

"What...why...why do you think that?" Vince asked quietly as he reached over and squeezed Meghan's hand tightly into his.

"Her aura is...very very thin."

"But..." Vince's face lit up and he said hopefully, "you said that people you've known for a long time are common in both worlds!"

"Vince...you've only known Meghan for three and a half years...that's not nearly as long as you've known Howard."

"And what about you and Bollo, then? I haven't known you two much longer than I've known Meghan."

"I'm a shaman and Bollo's my familiar, we exist in every universe."

"God, Naboo!" yelled Howard. "This is ridiculou! How do you even know this has happened?"

Naboo breathed in and out. "Have any of you had any dreas that felt like memories, but you knew they weren't?"

Meghan shook her head slowly.

"Yes," said Howard, calmly, hanging his head down, as if ashamed.

Vince nodded his head as well.

"So have I, that's how I knew I had t check the book of spells I have in the shop but...it was gone."

No one said anything. The silence was completely uncomfortable and thick. All you could hear was the heavy breathing coming from all four.

"i'm going back to bed," Meghan deadpanned. She stood up and walked slowly back to bed.

"Naboo?" Howard said.

"Yes?"

"How could this have happend?"

"Erm...it could only have taken effect if there was something really pivotal that's happened in the past. Soemthing traumatic, I suppose."

"I can't really think of anything," Vince muttered.

"Yeah, nothing comes to mind," Howard agreed.

"Well, if you remember antything, please tell me."

"I don't believe it!" cried Vince.

"Neither do I, Vince," Naboo said, taking a seat on the sofa. "Neither do I."

* * *

**Well, muffins, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I'm not really sure when the next one will be up...but it will be...someday**

**Review xx  
**


	5. Hollow Gave You All Drastic Measures

**A/N: Hello, luffs :D I know it takes me forever to update, school just finished and over the past few months I've had a lot of culminating projects to do, so I haven't had any time to write anything. (check out my history project on youtube about Andy Warhol :D Nine Short Films About Andy Warhol)I was going to update last week, but my internet died...then I figured how to fix it on Sunday night cos I'm ever so clever ;)**

**AAANNNDDD thank you to my stalker anonymous for once again leaving a loverly review. You can stalk as much as you want, dear, as long as you're enjoying the story! I'm glad you like Meghan. I like her as well. You get virtual cookies or whatever it is that you like...ummm licorice bootlaces? Yum, I'd like some of those. You are a lucky one.**

**Anywho, I've decided to to merge together the panic chapters. I didn't want to leave anyone who is actually reading this story hanging, cos I love you. Plus the chapters would've been quite short. Panic Sections go: Vince, Meghan, Howard. Except, Meghan's isn't really that panicky...a little bit, but it's a bit of a fail. Yes, Hollow is a song by Sue and the Unicorn. I Gave You All is by Mumford and Sons (though that song doesn't work too well in that part, whatever. It's the title) and Drastic Measures is a seriously epic sauce song by the incomparably lovely Sarah Slean (She's my favourite singer :)) ****All aboard for swears, sex, and snogging?(it's funny cos that's completely serious...but not all too graphic...I don't do graphic)**  


**IT'S MINE, BITCHESSS!**

**Bollo: Bollo get gun.**

**Noel: Cheers.**

**Winter: *SCREAMS***

**Disclaimer: It's not mine. Awh, but Meghan is. If you'd like to borrow her, just ask. I don't mind renting her out for a little while, as long as she comes back home to me.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Hollow

"This is fucking ridiculous, Naboo," roared Vince. "What's going to happen? And why the Hell do you keep a spell book in the shop? Someone could steal it! And guess what, Naboo, someone did! I'm living a very happy life. Meghan and I are practically engaged! We were getting there, Naboo! In the next few months, maybe, I might've fucking proposed! Don't you see that we were all happy living like this! It was all so bloody perfect and suddenly it's...ruined."

"I know, Vince," Naboo responded calmly. "but it's hard for me to answer any questions about this spell when I don't have the book. I can tell what type it is, but I can't say for sure what will happen."

"Well, what do you fucking know?" Vince screamed, throwing his arms around in his fury. "Because you always seem to know something! But now, you're just sitting there calmly like nothing's gone wrong! Well News Flash, Naboolio, our entire life apparently isn't real! _Apparently_ the love of my life doesn't exist and _apparently_ I won't even remember any of this."

"I'm sorry, Vince," Naboo breathed, nervously adjusting his turban.

"Oh, of course! You're sorry! You better be, cos I'm going to find it extremely difficult to forgive you after you've ripped my life apart."

"Vince, I'm nearly positive that you won't remember any of this, but what I do know, well I'm quite sure is-"

"What?" Vince's anger seemed to simmer down to a small rage. He had hopeful and anxious looks playing on his features. If Naboo could help in any way at all, he would be happy. "What is it?"

"Just listen, Vince. Sit down."

"I can't," Vince said, his voice still low with a frustration. "I'm freaking out right now, if you haven't noticed!" His anger started to boil over again, causing his pale features to flush red.

"Okay, fine," Naboo said. "So, you won't remember this life, but you will have lost something major from it, despite the fact that it's an alternate universe."

"Oh, wow, really?" Vince said sarcastically. He wasn't really feeling angry. Now he was just feeling a deep, deep sadness. Everything that was happening was dawning on him as something tremendously sad. It wasn't something to feel angry about. Well, obviously anger was pretty good to have, especially for whoever had cast the spell. He was feeling empty. He felt like there was a great big hole of space inside of him. He felt hollow. "Like I hadn't fucking noticed," his tone was bitter and airy.

"Although you won't remember, you'll feel it," Naboo explained. "You'll feel empty and lost. It will make you go insane...and will eventually lead to...well, anything. Suicide, any mental disease. I believe schizophrenia is common. You'll be put in hospital. The worst part, though, is not knowing why you feel lost like that. You won't understand why you feel hollow."

Vince took a deep breath, absorbing everything Naboo had said. "Well...I could just kill myself now. I don't want to live in a world where I'm not me."

"No, Vince, that won't help. This universe is only existing for a certain amount of time while the real world is on hold. You'll still wake up in the original universe."

"Can I do anything? So-so I don't feel hollow."

"You have to feel purely happy. You need to block all of the sadness out. Forget what I've told you and just do something that makes you happy."

Vince sighed, "Well...that sounds so easy, but I can't forget what you've just told me. It's scaring me shitless, Naboo."

"I know. It's scaring me too.

"I guess I'll go be with Meghan...I think that's probably my best bet. Sh-sh-she makes me happy," tears were heavily flowing down his cheeks, but he was barely sobbing. He was just crying silently in the middle of the living room as Naboo watched him sadly from his spot on the sofa.

"That's a good idea, Vince. You go be with Meghan. I'm going to go to the Board of Shamen. They can help find more information about the spell. That particular book isn't too hard to find."

"What about you, Naboo? Will you be alright?"

"Oh yeah, I'll be fine. I'm a shaman, the after effects won't happen to me."

"Yeah, good, erm..." Vince sniffed, looking around the room. "Where's Howard gone?"

"He went downstairs a few minutes ago...while I was telling you about what'll happen after the spell wears off."

"Alright, I'll, erm, check on him later."

"Yeah...Where's Bollo?"

"Passed out behind the telly," Vince answered.

Naboo snickered and so did Vince.

"How did I not notice him? That great lump of fur ball!"

Vince laughed, wiping away his tears as he made his way down the hall to his room.

* * *

I Gave You All

He slumped down on the bed next to Meghan who was sitting there looking stunned as ever, just staring horrified at the wall.

"Alright?" Vince asked, snaking a comforting arm around her shoulders.

"What do you think?" She whispered, still finding the wall exceedingly interesting.

"You look like shit," Vince said honestly, sweeping his thumb across the tears on her lightly freckled cheeks.

Meghan looked to him and smirked. "You think?"

"Well, you're smiling, Meg," Vince smiled, "Well, smirking, but I think that's good enough."

She shook her head slightly, chuckling quietly. "Well, how are you doing? I heard you yelling."

"I'm okay now, but," he suddenly burst out laughing.

"What?" Meghan said, looking amused.

"I told Naboo the biggest lie," Vince raised his eyebrows up and down.

"What did you tell him?" She snuggled against Vince's side, feeling utterly comforted.

"I told him that I would have proposed to you soon."

Meghan's laughter seemed to fill the entire apartment. "Genius!" She exclaimed. "Did Howard hear?"

"Oh yeah," Vince said, as if he'd made a huge accomplishment.

Meghan snuggled up closer to Vince taking a deep, and shaky breath.

"Would you have, Vince?" Meghan said, suddenly quite solemn. "Would you have proposed?"

"Last year, yeah."

Meghan grinned again. "I love how we've been broken up for a year and we still act exactly like a couple."

"We're basically still together, but we're not really, we just..._are_?" Vince furrowed his eyebrows. "That made no sense. Let me re-phrase. We broke up, but we haven't told anyone, because-"

"Because you're a twat, and too stupid to admit to your feelings," Meghan finished.

"I'm not. Well, stupid, yes, but I am definitely not a twat," Vince retorted.

"Hmmm," Meghan murmered.

The so-called boyfriend and girlfriend sat in silence for a little while, breathing in each other's scents and enjoying the other's body heat.

"I have an idea," Vince said. "So, Naboo told me everything that'll happen after this ends and well...it was scary. Not like big transsexual sea monster scary. Mentally ill scary."

"Yeah," Meghan breathed.

"He said the only way to not become insane is to feel completely and utterly happy. Whatever you have to do, so..."

"Yeah," Meghan repeated, confused.

"You make me happy," Vince smiled down at her. He kissed her lips gently. It was normal. They kissed all the time. They needed people to think they were still together. They never did anything more than snog. And that was only in public. "I did everything for you, trying to make myself happy," Vince said between kissing Meghan, who was now breathlessly responding to her ex-boyfriend's lips. "I thought," kiss. "I could," kiss. "Do it." Kiss. "I thought I could love you and lie to myself," Vince said, tears starting to trickle from his blue eyes again. He looked down at Meghan, who was also crying calmly with her hands on Vince's neck. "And I really loved you, Meghan. We were perfect together. I wanted to be with you."

"You _were_ with me, Vince," she whispered. "We were together for two and a half years. That's something. And we were so happy."

"I know! We...were so happy!" He crashed his mouth against hers and kissed her as hard as he could to forget all of the other thoughts he had welling up in his brain.

Their clothes were slowly removed as they kissed and caressed, remembering everything about the times when they were togther.

Vince abruptly stopped though and looked straight in Meghan's eyes, which were red from crying. "We were happy, Meg! What-what went wrong?"

"Vince,"she said, her voice comforting and soft. She ran her hand through Vince's hair. "You love Howard."

"Yeah," Vince sighed, bitterly. He sat up and moved to get his clothes back on. "Yeah, I love Howard."

He sat on the edge of the bed, feeling utterly depressed.

"Vince?" Meghan whispered after a while.

"What?"

She was crying hard now, "I don't want to die."

"You won't ever die, Meghan! No one like you could actually die. You're too big a personality to forget."

"You mean...you're actually going to forget everything?"

"That's what Naboo said..."

"Well, I guess that's better."

"But, you know, in a way I'll never forget you! I gave you everything. I put up with all of your ridiculous antics with musicals and unknown musicians from Canada! I love that about you. I love that you're crazier than me. I love that you don't have as much style as I have, but you love it so much anyway. I love that you call yourself a Welsh Canadian from Wales."

"That is what I am, Vince!"

"I know, Meg. I know," he chuckled against the sobs that he was choking out. "And-and-and I love that you moved back to Wales and then to London. Because if you hadn't, I never would have met you. Even if this is a complete lie. It's so real to me! So...you'll never die. Not really."

"Thank you," Meghan said, wiping the hot tears from her eyes.

"Even if I can't remember you, you'll always be in my heart, Meghan."

"Awh, that's so cheesy," Meghan grinned broadly.

"And...you do make me happy...God, I'm sorry, but I'm so, so sad right now."

Meghan crept up behind Vince and put her arms tightly around his middle. "I know, so am I."

"And I'm not going to remember you...I want to...I really want to."

"You know what, Vince. We've been really, really happy, and now I'm just content to know that," She whispered against his neck, her nose nuzzling his hair.

"You'll be okay?"

"Yeah, I think I can sleep soundly," Vince could feel Meghan smile into his hair as she tightened her grip around him. "Maybe you should go be with Howard," Meghan suggested, kissing the back of his neck. "I'm sure you'll feel happy with him."

"Yeah, he always makes me happy...the berk!" Vince stood up and turned around to look down at Meghan, clad only in the purple sheets of their bed, gazing up at him. "You look beautiful right now," Vince said.

"I've looked better," she giggled.

"Well, yeah, but right now...you've never looked more gorgeous to me."

"I love you," Meghan said, her eyes welling up again.

"I love you too," and with that Vince turned on his heel to leave.

"Wait," Meghan exclaimed, just as Vince took the door handle in his hand. "Vince?"

"Yeah?" he said, turning back around.

"Erm...could to tuck me in?"

Vince burst out laughing heartily. "Yeah, of course."

* * *

Drastic Measures

Ten minutes later, Vince was stood in front of the counter in the Nabootique watching a very distressed Howard up and down and to and fro upon the tiled floor. He wasn't going to tell Howard how he felt about him. He couldn't. He knew that there was a very good chance that Howard would freak out and get angry. And then neither one of them would be happy, and they'd both become raving mad men. He didn't want that. He loved Howard. He didn't want him to become mentally unstable. He practically was already. But Vince didn't care. Even though jazz was the bane of his existence, he loved Howard because of the fact that he thought that jazz was the most important music genre ever created. And though Vince hated to admit it, rock n' roll had evolved from jazz, so he was able to conjure up some respect for it. He loved Howard because he couldn't stop making Stationary Village more and more perfect. And Stationary Village was quite perfect, Vince thought to himself. Howard was a perfectionist, which meant that he made everything right. Vince liked that he didn't actually make everything right, but it felt close enough. It felt perfect. And Howard was perfect. Just like Stationary Village and just like jazz's involvement in the creation of rock music.

Howard wasn't all that perfect right now though. Right now, he was a mess.

"I can't do this, Vince!" Howard cried. "I don't want to be a lunatic!"

"If you'd let me finish," Vince said. He'd been trying to explain to Howard what Naboo had told him. "Naboo said-"

"I know what Naboo said!" Howard shouted harshly at Vince. "We'll be put in hospital. I don't want that! Why would anyone do this to us? What have we ever done to anyone?"

"Erm...Bainbridge, The Spirit of Jazz, The Hitcher, Old Gregg, I could go on..."

"No, I know, Vince. but...but we're generally good people, aren't we?" Howard asked, solemnly.

"Yeah, yeah we are," Vince assured him, stepping closer. But he soon jumped back when Howard began ranting uncontrollably again.

Vince wasn't scared of the way Howard was thrashing about around the room in fury. To be honest, he was slightly amused. He'd seen Howard like this so many times, that this didn't really change anything. He still looked like his freaky Northern Howard.

"And what if we're all different! What if I don't like jazz? What if I don't like stationary?" Suddenly a horrible thought occurred to him. "Or worse! What if you're nothing like you! What if you like jazz? It would be the end of the world. I can't live in a world where you voluntarily listen to jazz! That goes against the universe! I don't what you to be anyone else but who you are, you electro poof!" Howard, of course, was crying and couldn't seem to stop. He also couldn't seem to stop ranting.

Vince watched on, not really sure what to do, since every time he tried to interrupt Howard to tell him that they could make it alright, he'd just blow up. Metaphorically. But as Vince thought more and more about what Howard was saying, he realized that he didn't want Vince to change. Obviously, he liked Vince just the way he was.

He had an idea. A great idea. If not a little adventurous.

_That dream_, he thought to himself. _Drastic times call for drastic measures._

He grinned to himself. He could get Howard to shut up. It might make him angry, but he'd probably shut up long enough for Vince to run up the stairs and go back to bed, completely happy.

"What the hell are you smiling about, Vince?" Howard screamed at him. Vince hadn't noticed that Howard had caught him mentally conjuring up his plan.

"What?" he said. "Oh, nothing. Please continue," he motioned with his hand for Howard to do as he told him.

"Oh, okay," and Howard went back onto his verbal rampage.

It was time, Vince thought. It was definitely time to take action. And he was used to going to drastic measures. This wasn't any different. Well, it was a bit. Well, not all too different from that dream. Which apparently actually happened. Vince smiled brighter and was now completely sure it was time.

"Howard?" Vince whispered.

"What?" Howard roared.

Vince walked forward slowly towards the man that was still huffing angrily and freaking out. He took his face in both his hands and pulled him down towards him. He kissed his lips tentatively. Then again. And another time. And a few more times. And before Vince knew it, Howard was kissing him back.

Vince was screaming inside. He was screaming love and lust and hooray and finally and confusion. Confusion. Why was Howard even kissing him back? Was it because he loved him too. Or was it because it would just take his mind off of what was going to happen. It couldn't be the latter. It just couldn't, Vince decided. _He loves me too. He loves me too!_

The seconds ticked away as they passionately moved their lips in sync to the other's. Vince crawled his mouth with tiny kisses up Howard's jaw line, savouring the taste of him. Might I even mention cheesy, cheesy fireworks?

"Vince?" Howard murmured into the other man's ear.

"Yes?" Vince replied breathlessly.

"Stop."

"What?"

"Stop." But he wasn't angry, it wasn't forceful, it was just 'stop.'

"Why?"

"Because."

This conversation was made between two hungry mouths on one another, kissing and sucking and licking...

"Because why?"

"Because we won't remember."

Then Vince stopped. He looked up at him with a sad look. "I know," he said.

"This is wrong."

"It's not."

"Yes, it is!" Howard laughed bitterly.

"But, but it's not, Howard!" Vince didn't care anymore if he went insane. He wasn't going to run upstairs and go to sleep while he was still happy. Partly because he wasn't still happy, and partly because he had to prove to Howard that is was right.

"What about Meghan?"

"You're so fucking thick, Howard!" Vince screamed. "I thought that dream was a sign! And you know what...I think maybe you had the same dream! But you're too thick to realize anything. I know that you're really clever and bright and smart and how ever many words there are for that word, but you are so thick! Stop being so oblivious."

"What are you talking about?" Howard asked, genuinely confused. Though he probably shouldn't have been confused, since everything he needed to know was basically out there in the open.

"As Fossil would say, look reality in the face and lick it!" Vince yelled. "Oh wait a second, you already fucking did!"

It was now that Vince ran up the stairs. But his plan hadn't worked out. He was in a flood of melancholy tears and was going to have a bath. He needed to be clean. Well, he needed to be calm.

* * *

**OMfiddlessG This chapter is so long. I feel proud that I finally finished. It took forever, since I am a very unmotivated person.**

**Yeah, sorry about the Howince...this is a Howince story...I'm sorry...so very very sorry**

**Please please please please please please please review. Reviews make me feel special.**


	6. Bubbles

**A/N: Hey, kiddly winks. Well, this is a short chapter. I've had this entire conversation going on in my mind for the past month and I'm so relieved I've finally written it down! Thank the Lord (Bowie)!**

**Well, guess what two lovely people I met on Saturday...And you'll never believe this. I can barely believe it! But I met Noel Fielding and Tim Minchin! And OMG they are both two of the loveliest people. They are so so nice. I was going to Yuk Yuk's to see Noel do stand up, so I knew i'd see him. I wasn't sure if I was going to meet him but I brought him a present anyway :P And Tim Minchin was in town doing Just For Laughs stuff too, so Noel Brought him and Bo Burnham along. I didn't talk to Bo Burnham, but he did run past me and I had a mini conversation with Tim Minchin about him XD And Yeah, Noel Fielding is a genuinely lovely person. And I got to hug him! I'm very happy**

**I sincerely hope that you too will get a chance to meet these two wonderfully talented men. Because they are great people. And Noel's gig was amazing too. I was the face joke XD**

**Disclaimer: I've learned my lesson now.**

* * *

Howard could hear the bath water stop running as he slowly made his way up the stairs into the flat. He wasn't sure what to say to Vince. He wasn't sure what he wanted. He wasn't sure if he was happy that they wouldn't remember anything. He wasn't sure of anything. He was a bit frightened, actually, at how Vince had screamed at him so full of emotion, so...damaged. Damaged seemed the right word. He'd seemed completely broken by everything. Why had Vince kissed him? Well, he thought that it must have just been a momentary lapse. Vince was clearly not happy about everything that had happened. But why wasn't he with Meghan, Then? that seemed to be the most reasonable thing to do.

Why had Vince mentioned the dream. Had they had the same dream? That made quite a lot of sense, actually. Maybe Vince was confused by that dream. If it was the one on the roof. Maybe he was just confused. Or maybe Vince wasn't. Maybe his mind was clear. Maybe he knew what he wanted. Maybe he wanted Howard. Of course, Howard wasn't entirely sure if he wanted Vince. But he told himself one thing, that he couldn't deny.

Even if it scared him a little bit, he wanted that dream to be a memory.

He did want Vince, but...but that could never work. Vince had Meghan. He needed to talk to Vince about this. If Vince wasn't confused, Howard sure was and he needed clarity.

Howard was very confused. Which we've already established, bit at this point his thoughts were getting jumbled up and he wasn't sure what he was thinking anymore.

He knocked on the bathroom door.

"Vince?"

"Come in," Vince sighed.

Howard pushed open the door, slowly shuffling inside the washroom. He looks at he piles upon piles of products that sit on the shelf. He looks at the mirror, the sink, the toilet, then finally, he came to rest his eyes on Vince. He was covered up to his neck in a white blanket of bubbles. His hair looked extra dark against his blanched surroundings.

Howard's breath hitched unnervingly in his throat. When had he come to think of Vince like this. When did Vince ever become beautiful? It seemed only to be in the past hour or so. It was strange. It was very strange.

"Alright," Vince said, blowing bubbles from his hand.

"Hey," Howard made a small smile as he say down on top of the toilet. "Where is everybody?"

"Erm..." Vince breathed, not making eye contact. "Naboo and Bollo have gone to see the Board of Shamen. Reckon they know something."

"Probably."

"Hmm," Vince mumbled. "Meghan's asleep and...you...seem to be in here...with me." Now he looked at Howard. Vince stared his big blue eyes into Howard's small brown ones. "Why?"

"I..." Howard trailed off. He wasn't sure anymore.

"D'you think we'll actually forget everything, Howard?" Vince asked, with a sad look in his eyes.

"That's what Naboo said."

"I don't want to forget _any_thing," Vince said, quite sure of himself.

"Neither do I, Vince," Howard replied.

"It's so weird."

"Yeah, you've spent so long with Meghan. You don't want to forget her at all."

"That's not what I mean, Howard," Vince said. "Well, I don't want to forget Meghan, but are you really that blind?"

"What do you mean?"

"I don't want to forget _anything_," Vince repeated. "You can't just come in here and pretend that we weren't kissing downstairs ten minutes ago. That's fucked."

"I don't understand, Vince."

"Yeah, neither do I. You kissed back," Vince pushed his hands underneath the water and pulled them back out with a new mass of bubbles to blow away.

"I'm sorry about that...you must be-"

"Meghan and I haven't been together for over a year, Howard," Vince hissed. And really was something along the lines of a hiss. It was harsh and it was cold.

"I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry? It's not your fault that you're so goddamn loveable," Vince's voice was still quite low and angry, but he couldn't help it. He was going to tell Howard how he felt, if it killed him.

"What?"

"Meghan and I broke up because I was in-in love with...you, Howard." Vince's voice became softer, almost thoughtful. "I can't help it. Meghan and I played on the charade of still being together to make you jealous. Don't you remember we were having bad relationship issues a year ago? We fought all the time, and were just so angry. But that was fake. I saw the way you watched us, Howard. Like you were waiting for us to just fall apart. So, I thought maybe if we started being a happy couple again you'd be jealous. And I could never tell. And I was obviously stupid enough to let it go on this long."

"But you loved Meghan so much, Vince. I know you did. You two were perfect for each other. I don't want to get in the way of that." Howard sounded as though he was pleading. Pleading for what though? He wasn't sure himself.

"Oh my God, Howard! Yeah, yeah you're right! But you're not getting in the way of anything. Meghan and I are not together anymore. We're not romantic in any way! We kiss in public to maintain that image, but that was to make you jealous! Have you been listening to a single word I've said. I love Meghan, but not in the was I love _you!_ Howard. Not even close."

"Wow..." Howard wasn't really sure what to say. He was freaking out, but at the same time he was...happy.

"Naboo said that the only way to stay sane after the spell ends is to feel happy," Vince explained to Howard. "We have to be completely content before the spell wears off or we'll become nutters, so please, Howard. Please...just make me happy."

"Did the dream you have happen on the roof?" Howard asked.

"Howard, that dream was so vivid. I can still feel your moustache against my lips," Vince said touching his bubble covered fingers to his still swollen lips.

"Maybe you can still feel that because were kissing ten minutes ago."

"Yeah...maybe," Vince sighed. "Will you pass me that towel?" Vince said pointing to the towel hanging from the sink.

"Sure," Howard grabbed it and handed it to his very bubbly (emotionally and physically) best mate.

"Cheers," Vince smiled as he rose from the bath and wrapped the towel tightly around himself.

"I don't want to forget anything either, Vince," Howard mumbled as Vince stepped from the bath.

"Good," Vince said.

And with that their lips came crashing together.

"I can make you happy, Vince. I promise," Howard said.

"Shut up!" Giggled Vince as he pressed himself against the older man, savouring everything he'd ever dreamed of.

Howard wasn't confused anymore. He wanted Vince. He wanted Vince more than anything. Now all he needed was to be happy. And that couldn't be too hard. Especially, when Vince's tongue was down his throat..in a completely romantic way.

* * *

**Hope you enjoyed this :D**

**Once again, I'm not sure when the next update will be. I'll need to find motivation.**

**Review XOXO**

**PS I'm not going to hate on Noel Fielding girlfriend, Lliana Bird, because she seems really sweet. I don't think she deserves hate at all. And neither does Noel. He lovely. So lovely...so very very lovely. And it's hard to shut up about it, cos he's just so nice. I think I was the only one that gave him a present XD**


	7. THISISCHAPTER7 it's filler you love it

**A/N: Imma just say I love anonymous, anonymous is my favourite. I didn't even get to see Tim Minchin live though. After the gig, my mum made me stalk him down the street, but we lost him when he turned out of the alley :P (We were waving bye to Noel, so that's a pretty good reason XD)**

**Damn this chapter is short. This is because I couldn't help myself and felt like something funny and random would be good (Everyone always gives Vince a Rolling Stones t-shirt, well I've given him a Kiss one)**

**Who wants to know the best thing I've ever said on a photo of me? "I look like a sexually deranged kindergarten teacher from the seventies" And that I did, that I did XD**

**Disclaimer: Yeah just no...TEARS! ALRIGHT I'M CRYING FROM MY EYE SOCKETS! Actually, does it help that I've touched one of the lovely men that owns it? (That sounds so sexual...it was just a hug! Get your minds out of the gutter, he isn't a paedofile!) Yeah, no, probably not :'(**

**

* * *

**"I wonder what's happening with Naboo," Howard said, drying himself off from the falling, none so gracefully, into the bubble filled tub with Vince.

Vince was pulling on a pair of pajama bottoms and an aged Kiss t-shirt.

"I don't know," Vince answered.

* * *

"Naboo, you pillock, that was the last bottle of tequila!"

"It wasn't, you've got three more behind you."

"Why are we bothering with drink at a time like this? We must figure out the cause of the spell."

"We're deep in the crunch now, Dennis, there's no going back. Shall we all just drink to life!"

"And we're having it large!"

"Since when does Kirk have a say in anything? You know what can't trust him."

"Come off it, Dennis! He's the only one that can bring our spirits up!"

"Yes, you saw him last Saturday night at Shamansbury's! He was able to keep the store open for another hour!"

"The check-out girl was dancing in the aisles when she saw his devious sexual travel glow!"

"Devious, sexual travel glow? What does that even mean?"

"Awh, look at him now! He's off his tits!"

"I think we should all calm down and deal with this problem in a sensible manner."

"This is a sensible manner, Dennis! Take that shot!"

"I will not be tempted by such foolishness!"

_5 minutes later_

"And now...I find out that Methuselah is having an affair with Barry the Welsh Shaman!"

"This is an outrage!"

"Pass me another shot, Tony. I can't bear to live with this!"

"He's having it large!"

* * *

"He's probably figured out what's happened," Howard sighed.

"Yeah..." Vince said. "Cuppa tea?"

"I would love a cup of tea!" Howard grinned broadly and followed Vince to the kitchen.

* * *

**He he he completely random and short filler chapter XD**

**Let's see if you can guess whose lines are whose :D**

**Review XX**


	8. Judy Judy Judy

**A/N: Well, well, well, hello again. Lately, I have been enjoying this fic more and more. And after this chapter, I'm not really sure what will happen. So, any suggestions would be brilliant.**

**This chapter is the love child between my ears and Judy Garland Live at Carnegie Hall. That's the reason for the many quotes of songs that Judy Garland has sung in this chapter. I love Judy. I love her, I love her, I love her, I love her with my heart strings! Oh and by the way, they went zing XD**

**Disclaimer: You know kittens and how cute they are, well imagine that look of their tiny innocent faces on me. That's the look I have, because I don't own the Boosh. It's sad isn't it. And a bit creepy that I look like a cat. I'm not really sure what I just said there...XD**

**Warning (?): Fluff, 'nuff said**

* * *

They weren't all too sure how they'd sunk into this nervous tea-drinking scenario. They were being quite cute with each other, but after the very _dirty_ incident in the bathroom, they found that they were very shy. Their minds kept drifting back to how the bubbles had gotten all over the floor, when Vince had basically pushed Howard, fully clothed, into the tub. It was a very wet affair. Though, neither seemed to care when Howard's pajamas ended up strewn across the floor, mixed haphazardly with the bubbles.

Vince and Howard were now sitting across from each other at the kitchen table drinking their tea in silence. The odd wink and giggle would fetch the other's attention between their on going game of footsies.

Vince finished his tea and set it lovingly down on the table. He reached his hand across and poked Howard's thumb, which was resting on the side of his mug. Howard inspected this scene and grinned.

"Hi," he said.

"Hi," Vince replied, with a shy smile.

"What are you doing," Howard asked in a low, and strangely flirtatious voice.

"Poking your thumb," Vince said honestly, fluttering his eye lashes slightly, but only out of pure bashfulness. "Are you nearly done your tea?"

"Yeah," he said, taking the last sip. "I'm finished now."

"Do you wanna watch the telly?"

"Not really," Howard said, grabbing Vince's mug and bringing it and his own over to the sink.

"Are you too tired now, Howard?" Vince said. Vince wasn't tired. He was much to excited to go to sleep. At a time like this, how could he?

"No," Vince was a bit irritated by Howard's simple answers.

"Have I done something?" Vince asked, worriedly. His eyes were wide and a bit frightened. He hoped he hadn't done anything wrong. Maybe Howard didn't actually like Vince. Maybe it was just a joke.

"Yes," Howard said.

"What?" Vince exclaimed. "What have I done? I'm sorry, Howard! I'm so sorry! What is it?"

"You've just...stolen my heart, haven't you?" Howard said, turning around and smirking suggestively at Vince.

"Howard, you bastard, you scared me!" Vince jumped up at him and seized Howard's middle with his arms. "_Do_ you love me, Howard?"

"I think so, little man," Howard breathed, wrapping his arms comfortably around the smaller man.

"How much?"

"This much," Howard said. "Too much...too much to measure."

"I'm happy," Vince sighed, contentedly and squeezed Howard tighter. "I love you that much too."

"I love you more though," Howard laughed.

"No!" Vince cried. "I loved you before you loved me! That isn't fair!"

"What are you talking about?" Howard pulled away from Vince and stared down at the thin man in front of him.

"You made me love you, Howard!" Vince poked Howard roughly in the chest. "I didn't want to do it! I didn't want to do it! But you made me love you!"

"Vince?" Howard said, calmly, giving the younger man a strange look.

"What?" Vince replied, noticing the strange look that was gracing the moustachioed face.

"Did you just quote a Judy Garland song?" Howard was completely flabbergasted.

"Pfffft...no..." Vince walked away from him and went to sit down on the sofa.

"You did!" Howard exclaimed. "_You Made Me Love You_ is a song that Judy Garland sang...a lot."

"That's ridiculous, that came from my heart, Howard! I don't steal lines from songs to express my feelings!" Vince was now acting all huffy as he crossed his arms across his Kiss-shirt-clad chest.

"Vince...what else were you going to say...during your heart spilling?"

"Erm...everytime...I see you...I-I-I...just one look at you and-and my heart grew tipsy..." Vince stuttered. "When-erm-when you smile at me, the clouds roll away."

Howard made his way over to the sofa and sat down next to Vince as he rambled on, nearly incoherently.

"Never saw you look quite so pretty before...never-never saw you dress so handsome-what's more...erm,"

"Vince?" Howard said. brushing the dark fringe from Vince's eyes.

"Emrbrace me, Howard," Vince said, completely serious, but you could see the beginnings of a smile start to creep upon his face. "My sweet embraceable you."

Howard held Vince so close to him. He breathed in the scent of his hair as he ran his hands lovingly threw the strands. "Have you been listening to my records, Vince?" He asked.

"What? Of course not!"

"Alright, well, how long have you loved me, Vince?" Howard said. "How long?"

"Clang, clang, clang went the trolley. Ding, ding, ding went the bell. Zing, zing, zing went my heartstrings. From the moment I saw him, I fell," Vince mumbled in a slightly sing-song voice.

"You've been listening to my Judy Garland records!" Howard exclaimed.

"Shut up!" Squealed Vince, pushing Howard down on the sofa. "Yes, I have, but...don't tell anyone!"

"I won't," Howard sighed, letting Vince push him back and straddle him. "I promise."

And with that Vince nuzzled down into Howard's neck placing several kisses on his pulse and up his jaw line.

"I love you, Howard," Vince said.

"Prove it," teased Howard, sending Vince into a ferocious attack of his mouth.

They lazed on the couch kissing and touching and enjoying each other.

After about twenty minutes of that, they just cuddled into each other. Howard kissed the top of Vince's head, letting the smaller man collapse beside him, with a leg pulling his hip towards him.

"Howard?" Vince said, kissing the end of his lover's nose.

"Yep?"

"I like your moustache," he smirked.

"Do you?"

"Yeah, quite," Vince said. "I do quite like it."

"I like you hair," Howard replied.

"Well, then why do you keep messing it up?" Vince giggled into Howard's mouth.

"Cos you keep mocking my mocha!" Howard growled, nibbling on Vince's bottom lip.

"What you gonna do about it?" Vince moaned.

Howard skimmed his hand along Vince's side, making the other man shudder. He pulled Vince's very, very shiny silver pajama leg up and reached his hand underneath the loose fabric. He stroked Vince's thigh back and forth, making Vince moan with pleasure against Howard's mouth. Vince's hand ran down the length of Howard's chest, slowly undoing the buttons of his pajama shirt.

"Oh, Howard Moon," he sighed. "You are quite naughty, aren't you."

"Not at all," Howard replied, removing his hand from Vince's thigh and pushing it up under Vince's shirt. He drew various shapes on Vince's lower back as they both shivered against the other's kiss.

Howard suddenly stopped, and nuzzled against Vince's hair. He whispered quietly into Vince's ear:

"Kiss me twice, then once more," Howard cooed. "That makes thrice-"

"Let's make it four!" Squealed Vince, hopping up to straddle Howard again and sloppily kissing all over the other man's lips.

Howard really didn't mind that Vince was squishing him into the sofa cushions. In fact, he actually enjoyed it. And he maybe enjoyed it a little too much, as he found himself growling with pleasure as Vince teased his lips with his tongue and the inner of his thigh with his hand.

"Vince," Howard was breathing heavily, cupping the other man's arse, trying to get him as physically close as possible. "Vince, can we go to my bedroom?"

"Hmm," Vince mumbled.

"I think it'd be a lot more comfortable than the sofa," Howard managed to get through between rough, passionate kisses.

Vince stopped, and smiled down at him. "Yeah probably," he replied, but he didn't move from where he was.

Just then they heard footsteps coming up the stairs.

"Naboo and Bollo are back!" Vince whispered, lowering himself against Howard.

"Vince?" They heard Naboo said at the top of the steps.

"Yeah," Vince sat up, still atop Howard's legs. His hair flipped back in a veil of black. His smile was so bright, and it looked even brighter because of how swollen his lips were from the snogging. He was red all over, and looked like he'd been completely kissed. Very, very kissed. "Alright Naboo?"

"What are you doing?" Naboo asked, when he heard Howard stifle a laugh. "Where's Howard?"

Howard's hand shot up from where he lay, sinking into the sofa from the weight of the electro poof on top of him. "Right here!"

"What are you doing?" Naboo seemed to be able to tell exactly what they were doing, but he looked, altogether confused.

"Erm...having a bit of fun," Vince said, innocently.

"Does Meghan know about this?" Naboo looked angry, and well, tired.

"No!" Vince exclaimed, quite jollily. "She doesn't! Come on, Howard, we have to go tell her! She'll be so excited!"

"Okay," Howard said, as he was lifted from the sofa by Vince's, surprisingly strong, arm.

Vince kissed him quickly on the cheek, before grabbing his hand, and legging it to Meghan's sleeping side.

Naboo and Bollo were left in the landing of the flat bewildered, wondering what the hell they had just witnessed.

* * *

**Please review! And remember any suggestions or ideas for the story are absolutely welcome. Please tug at my heart strings with a review, from the moment I see them I fall XD**

**Love Winn **


	9. Blackout

**Why, hello my dear muffin cakes. Firstly, I wan to say thank you to everyone who has reviewed or favourited or subscribed to this story. Im really really happy people have actually taken an interest.**

**So, this is in a way the end of Part One of the story. If this was a play, this would be the end of Act 1...so like that I am going to take a break cos Ive got a few ideas for some one shots. Now, maybe you think that I dont update often, so I do take breaks. Well, I promise you when Im not updating all Im thinking about is what I am going to do with this story. I have a pretty good idea where Im going with it too...I am very pleased about this XD But I still do like suggestions. That would be great to get any ideas..HINT HINT HINT! **

**So, Forever Plaid is a play...I mention it. And I LURVE Life on Mars...the wonderful David Bowie song...:D**

**Disclaimer: My hair somewhat resembles Noel Fieldings at the moment and I have a strange obsession with moustaches...No...Oh, okay, I dont own the Mighty Boosh.**

**Warning: Kind of smutty, not really, just kind of...the slash kind...but it is so un-graphic. Swearing (of course :P)**

**Enjoy, my sweeties!**

* * *

There wasn't much of a hassle. Vince and Howard explained everything to Naboo, who was dumbfounded and needless to say, a bit creeped out. He wasn't going to deny that he was happy for them, it was just a very sudden thing to appear from the abyss. He had definitely not been expecting it. Meghan was pleased. Though, having been woken up the second time that night, she was still ultimately cranky as ever. They all went their separate ways. Naboo and Bollo to the living room to light up a last alternate universe hookah; Meghan stayed right where she was in bed, and fell fast asleep quickly after the excitement; and Howard and Vince slunk off to Howards room and snuggled amorably beneath the covers.

They were just getting to sleep, when Vince's phone went off. _Life on Mars_ blared a top volume from Meghan's room.

"Shit," Vince mumbled, rolling out of bed.

"Vince!" was yelled in a very angry, very exhausted Welsh accent.

"I thought youre ringtone was_ Cars_." Howard grumbled, letting Vince slide from his arms.

"Yeah, it was, but I felt like a change," Vince replied. "And I do like Bowie."

Vince practically ran to Meghans side and grabbed the phone from the bedside table. Flipping it open, he saw a text.

"What does William need to say sorry for" Vince whispered after a beat.

"I dont fucking care, Vince! I want to sleep!" Meghan hissed.

Vince smiled at her, then left back to Howards bed.

Im sorry, the text read. Vince kept looking back at his phone, trying to fathom why his brother had sent this.

"Whats William got to be sorry for." Vince asked.

"I dont know," Howard replied. "But cant you put your phone away, now. Cant you just try to sleep."

"I suppose," he sighed. "But this is really confusing!"

"Please, Vince! Im so tired, just put the phone down!"

"Fine," he breathed and placed his phone on the nightstand.

Ten minutes later, Howard was sleeping soundly with his arm draped lazily around Vinces small frame.

"He cast the spell, Howard!" Vince exclaimed, swiftly sitting up in bed.

"hmmm..." Howard grumbled.

"Will cast the spell, Howard," Vince said. "He must have!"

Howard was suddenky very awake and sat up with Vince. "Oh my God...it was...so long ago...the-the-the gun...Vince!..."

"Yeah, that was a bloody pivotal moment in my life."

"So, what do we do."

"Tell Naboo."

"But I dont know what good he can do. If we go to sleep well wake up and be in the actual universe...is there any point."

"Hmm, guess not," Vince mumbled as he snuggled against Howard and sunk further beneath the covers. "What if-"

"What."

"What if in reality we arent together."

"Then well get together. I think it was meant to be."

"Soppy...but-but what if it isnt."

"Im sure it is, Vince. I know it."

"But I love you so much and what if-"

"Stop it, Vince!" Howard exclaimed, placing a finger on Vinces lips. "Calm down, little man."

"Im just-"

"I know," Howard hushed before pressing his lips firmly against Vinces, calming them both. "I know."

Vince began shaking his head vigorously. "But, Howard, why would Will cast the spell. What did he need to change. Oh my God! Am I dead, Howard. I cant be dead!"

"No, of course youre not, Vince, but maybe its...no, never mind."

"What is it."

"I dont want to make you upset, Vince."

"Ive had enough disappointment. Im as upset as I can possibly be, Howard."

"Youre not going to like it."

"Tell me!"

"What if Will actually shot you," Howard said, hesitantly.

"Its hard when your brother used to be a chav."

"He isnt anymore, though. He has a family and hes responsible."

"Well...he became a nerd..."

"Thats true," Howard said, watching Vince carfeully.

"I need to be happy, Howard. Or else all of this is going to shit."

"Yeah, so do I." Howard breathed, wrapping his arms tightly around Vince.

Vince smirked, with his tongue sticking out teasingly at the corner of his mouth. his tongue began its ascension at the base of Howards neck and trailed up over his stubbly chin and across his impatiently waiting lips. Vince licked Howardès lips tenderly, while Howard pulled Vinces tongue into his mouth and sucked it hungrily. Soon, they were kissing vehemently, their tongues both fighting for dominance. Vince pulled at his shirt, trying to get it over his head with his mouth still insistently attached to Howards. He pulled away and helped Vince with hsi shirt and sent it to the floor. Getting back to the attack of each others lips, Vince fiddled with the buttons on Howards plaid night shirt, undoing them one by one.

"Forever Plaid," Vince growled against his lovers lips.

"Youre listening to barber shop now, are you." Howard teased, ripping his shirt off, popping off still buttoned buttons.

"Anything for you," he replied, lustfully, pulling off his bottoms and scrambling to get Howards off as well.

"Theyre gone," Howard informed him, throwing them off the bed.

They were all over each other as only two people completely in love lusting people could be. It was...perfect.

* * *

Naboo would have considered himself very lucky that he slept through the shouts of passion from Howards bedroom. He and Bollo had past out after a long and leisureful hookah time.

He would also consider himself lucky that he had been asleep when the blackout happened. Of course, he didnt really notice anything. He was always too high. Hed thought that he knew Howard and Vince well, but he seemed to over look any possible sexual tension between them. This was a very odd scenario.

Naboo and Bollo were dreaming about hash cakes, when the blackout occured. That was a good thing, cos the blackout happened, nevertheless.

* * *

Meghan had been sleeping like a tiny little child. Shed fallen into her peaceful slumber with a smile on her face, despite the fact that Vince had so rudely woken her up for the third time that night. She was content. And were someone to wake her up, now, she probably would have hit them.

But she didnt hit anyone. She didnt get the chance.

She was awoke by the sound of Vinces scream. It wasnt an angry or a sad or a scared scream, though. It was one of pure bliss. She knew what it was for.

Thinking about love and life and the reason for Vinces blissful scream, she smiled to herself as a solitary, sloth tear rolled down her cheek. Then, Meghan closed her eyes in this faltering universe for the last time.

* * *

Vince heaved and spasmed with Howard moving inside him. He was now more happy than hed ever been. They whispered I love yous to one another over and over again. Thats all they could say. All they knew was I love you...

They felt the peak of their climax come forth and escape shrilly through their mouths. Vince and Howard voices yelled each others names and together they came in blissful heart break to the blackout leading out of the parallel universe they so thought was their home.

* * *

Vince awoke, rolling over in his bed and groaning. He stared up at the ceiling and was emotionless. He didnt know what to feel. He stumbled out of bed and moved down the hallway to the kitchen. Upon entering, he saw Howard rise from his chair and stare longingly at him.

Vince found an emotion and began to cry, running to Howard and buried his head in his plaid night shirt.

"M-M-M-Meghan was there" he bawled breathlessly against Howard. "She was still-stil here."

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**Confused! Yes...cliffhanger...**

**Review...PLEASE! Suggestions...PLEASE!**

**My hair is awesome...PLEASE!...you know what never mind :P**


	10. I said I had hope

**A/N: Hey there! So, yeah I said that I was going to take a break and write some one-shots. That failed miserably. I got some wonderful reviews after my last chapter which made me really happy! So thanks to everyone who reviewed! Oh and anonymous seems to think this is the best story ever...I'm not really sure I agree, but it's nice to hear that you think that! Also in the last chapter I mentioned that I have a weird obsession with moustaches. Well, this is because I saw this great Swedish folk singer with the sexiest accent ever. And well, he had a lumberjack shirt and a wonderful moustache...and he was so HOTTT! So, yeah...it's not even because of Julian Barratt! How weird is that?**

**While writing this I listened to a lot of music. But, imma just give a quick name drop for one of my most favourite singers, Sarah Slean. I listened to her song Eliot a lot while writing this and the chapter title is a line from the song :D And also the entirety of Hair. I love Hair.**

**Disclaimer: I don't even own the DVDs. I downloaded all the episodes of The Pirate Bay. I'm terrible. I know.**

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Vince and Howard sat quietly and ate breakfast. It was completely silent. It had been like this for the past few days. No one talked about what had happened. But that was all about to change. They weren't sure what to say to each other. They knew whatever they said would probably be embarrassing or would make the other angry. But that wasn't true.

Vince knew that he couldn't be angry at Howard. It was a parallel universe, he couldn't help that he was in love with Howard there. He didn't technically know how he felt about it, but he still had parallel Vince's memories and feelings. He knew how that Vince felt about it and he couldn't put aside the thought that he didn't hate it. He wasn't going to begin getting at Howard because of it. Howard had loved him too. He wasn't ready to get into anything yet, though. A relationship with Howard seemed...odd, even while at the same time another part of his brain was screaming out "YES!" Vince shook his head and looked into his cereal bowl with sad eyes. They were still wet from crying all through the night. After he'd relieved his tears, he'd walked to the kitchen and sat down with Howard and poured his milk and coco-pops.

"Vince," Howard said, deciding that he had to say _something_.

Vince looked up and tried a smile, but it fell away soon after. "Yeah?"

"Why do you think Naboo didn't tell us that we would remember everything?"

"He probably didn't know, Howard," Vince sighed, diving his spoon roughly into his cereal.

"Don't stab the cereal, Vince," Howard joked, trying the hardest he could to lighten their spirits.

Vince laughed, "you can't stab with a spoon."

"_You_ can do anything you want," Howard said, trying to seem re-assuring and possible witty.

"Yeah, I know, Howard."

Howard stared at Vince. He was beautiful in the morning. No make-up, no sequins, no scary fans. Howard had never had these thought's before. Well, maybe once. Well, once or twice. Well, a few. Well, a dozen. Well, hundreds of times, but it still seemed surprising every time. Actually, this time it wasn't surprising. This time it came as a given. His memories of parallel Howard were mixing with his own and he soon found himself falling for Vince. Even if he had only woken up with these thoughts a few days ago. This was ridiculous, Howard knew, it shouldn't be the same as the parallel world. He shouldn't be in love with Vince too. It wasn't meant for this world, but then he thought about what he and Vince had talked about in bed before they'd made love. It_ was_ meant to be, he'd said it. Well, parallel Howard had said it, but he felt every word as if he had. The more he thought about it, the more he believed it; the more he believed that he and Vince would get together. So, he continued staring longingly at Vince.

"Why are you staring at me?" Vince whispered.

"It's just..." Howard said, he was going to say it. Dear Lord, he was going to tell Vince exactly what he was thinking. "It doesn't seem right when you're sad." Or maybe he wasn't.

"Yeah, it doesn't," Vince agreed. "I'm full, d'you want to open up shop?"

"Yeah, we're not dressed yet though, are we?" Howard pointed out.

"Pajama Day, Howard!" Vince was suddenly grinning like a small school boy who was very excited about his school's Pajama Day. "I wrote it on the calender last week. We don't have to get dressed. Anyway, I'll look genius in this old shirt! Frazzled but clean is totally in right now!"

"Frazzled but clean? What does that even mean, sir?"

"Ha ha, Howard you made a rhyme!" Vince exclaimed. "Frazzled but clean, what does that even mean? I don't know what it means Howard, but it's the look that counts and I'm rocking it right now!"

"Indeed you are," Howard sighed to himself, watching Vince carefully as they got up from their chairs and headed downstairs.

"What's that?" Vince swiveled around quickly right at the top of the stairs.

"Oh nothing, I was just agreeing with you," Howard smiled.

"Oh, cheers, Howard!" Vince grinned and turned to bound down the stairs, but he banged into Naboo instead.

"Watch it!" Naboo yelled. "This turban is a collectible!"

"Oh right, sorry, Naboo!" Vince said. "We were just headed down to open the shop."

"What?" Naboo said, pushing past everyone into the flat, Bollo trailing behind. "No you're not! You're not in the right mind set to open the shop! You're both depressed wrecks, I can't have you running my shop!"

"I'm not a depressed wreck, Naboo!" Vince exclaimed, following him to the living room.

"Yes, you are," Naboo said. "You're acting way too happy!"

"I'm always this happy," Vince laughed.

"Not right now you're not!" Naboo pointed an angry finger at him. "I bet he went from being really depressed and looking into his cereal bowl one second, and the next he was up talking about Pajama Day!"

"Yes, that is actually what happened," Howard said.

Suddenly, Vince burst into tears. Howard, automatically, ran to him and hugged him. It felt like the most natural thing in the world now. They'd had sex in the parallel universe and he could remember every inch of Vince's body. He wasn't sure if they'd talk about it now, but Vince leant in to his embrace and cried.

No one said anything until Vince had finally finished his bout of tears.

"So," Naboo said. "Are you two together now too?"

It was still silent. Howard stifled a hopeful look on his face. Vince sniffed and looked up at Naboo with shining wet eyes.

"No," he breathed. "That was that world, not this one. We're not...together." He let out a long breath and walked back to his room.

As he stood in front of the door, Vince noticed that his room was Howard's in the parallel universe. It was so strange that things could be so different and so alike at the same time. Then, he thought about Meghan. It had been years since he'd seen her. They'd lost touch. They lived on two different continents. He didn't expect to see her ever again. Then, he laughed. He and Meghan weren't together because he'd been in love with Howard. In this universe, when Meghan had left to go back to Canada, he was madly in love with her. Now, Vince's eyes were open to a whole new idea of love. Love for Howard. He wasn't ready to be with him though, he wasn't ready to be with anyone. not after something this...traumatic.

Vince was still standing in front of his door when Howard came up behind him.

"I want to be with you though, Vince," he said. He could here Vince's breath get caught in his throat, but he didn't turn around. "And I know that you have to feel the same way now, since you didn't mention anything about being completely insane for sleeping with me or anything like that. So, please, don't think that I don't want to be with you. Of course, I do."

"Not now, Howard," Vince whispered. "I-I-I do...feel...but-but not now. I can't handle this _now_."

"But we can help each other, Vince. We've both been hurt and scared by this, so if we're together, we can help each other. We'll feel happier. And it will start to feel less traumatic. If we're together, we can figure out what to do about William. He wanted the change, Vince. He obviously felt horrible because of what he did to you all those year's ago. He feels remorse, that's why he cast the spell. If we're together everything will fall in to place. I know it!" He took a pause to let Vince answer him.

It was all hanging in the air. Everything Vince wanted and didn't want all together just hanging in the air.

"Howard, I need to you to understand...I know we're both hurt, but-but we are together. We always will be. But i'm not ready to get into any kind of relationship. I'm already trying to handle William coming back, and being reminded of the once-was love of my life. You need to understand that if we were a couple, it would be even more difficult. And I know that I seem much too thick to even comprehend the layers of a proper relationship, but I've had a first hand look at it now. What's like to be in a real relationship. I have all of those memories. And I have been in a real relationship before. Even if it was just for six months at the bloody zoo, I know what it was like. So, I do know that it would be a burden on both of us. There is bickering and fighting and endless rows over stupid little things because you love the person too much to just be nice to them. I know how hard it would be for us to do that while we're trying to sort out our confused lives. We practically are a couple already, Howard, why make it official?"

"Because I love you!" Howard yelled. "Because I love you! And I don't care if we bicker and fight and row over tiny things as long as it's with you! As long as I know that you'll still love me afterwards! Because you do love me...I know you do."

Vince didn't say anything. He couldn't, not when Howard was spilling his heart out and telling him that everything would be alright. Even if he didn't really say that, he was definitely trying to show Vince that everything would be alright. And maybe it would.

Vince wanted a drink. He felt this moment weighing on him. So, he wanted-_needed_ a drink. He'd a had a drink after breakfast on that first day after the parallel world. He'd had a drink when Howard was stock taking the day before. He'd had a drink last night after getting into bed. He'd had a drink in the middle of the night when he'd got up to go to the washroom. And he was going to have a drink now. He opened his door and walked to his night stand. Howard didn't follow. He just stood in the doorway and watched Vince. Vince opened the draw and pulled out a small bottle of whiskey.

"D'you want a drink, Howard?" He asked. He still wasn't looking at Howard.

"Sure," Howard said entering the room and going over to Vince, who finally turned, but didn't look at him. He handed him the bottle.

"Cheers," he breathed. "I...love you too."

Howard smiled and took the bottle. He drank a small sip and winced. He wasn't that big of an alcohol drinker, but he was alright with a drink now and then. Now a bit more than then, though.

"So..." Howard said as Vince took the bottle back and gulped down a fair amount. He put it back in the draw and closed it slowly, before looking up into Howard's eyes. "you love me too?"

Vince kissed him. "Yes."

Everything seemed to be going really well from then on. Neither of them were really lying about being happy. Actually, everything was perfect.

Well, that's what Vince thought.

He'd have a drink when he was happy. And then another. And then another. And then five more.

He'd have a drink when he was sad. And then another. And then another. And then ten more.

Everyone was oblivious. Especially Vince.

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**Well, I hope you thoroughly enjoyed that. I thoroughly enjoy writing it. I think it's my best chapter so far (writing-wise)**

**Review xx**


	11. Little London Night

**A/N: Heyo, kids! How are you? Well, this is a kind of angsty chapter. So, my friend Aisa reviewed as mother bith, because I told her to review to motivate me :P It was meant to be Muvva-bitch...she had some serious typo issues there :/ Oh well...she also says that this story should be 27 chapters long...I'm not really sure how that will work out. We shall see...She doesn't even really watch the Mighty Boosh, I just think she should read this anyway :P**

**This chapter is named after the song Little London Night by Sarah Slean (figures :P) A few of the lines in this chapter are actually paraphrased from the song. Maybe you can spot them! If you listen to the song and can tell me which lines they are I'll name a character after you or I'll send you virtual hugs and such...whatever you please!**

**Disclaimer: So, like, Julian Barratt just called me and told me that they need a fresh new Canadian talent and -yeah no...but I own Theodor. I love him. He's lovely.**

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Three Months Later

The pavement shone in the moonlight. Vince could hear the faint sound of old dance music emanating from a dinner theatre. He laughed to himself. He was sure Howard would love to go somewhere like that, but they never went out. They stayed in and then Vince went out after he was sure Howard had fallen asleep. It wasn't that he was bored with Howard. He could never be bored with Howard. It was just that he needed the drink. He was always thirsty and there just wasn't enough at home or in the Nabootique. He'd get back home to a gracefully sleeping Howard. He'd curl his arms around him and plant kisses along his back and arms and neck and face. Then Howard would wake up and they'd make love. Howard never said anything about Vince smelling of party and alcohol, because Vince would always wash up and brush his teeth when he got home. He loved Howard too much, he thought. It was killing him. This love and this life. William would still come 'round every week, being the persistent bastard that he was. Vince would never talk to him. Naboo would guard his spell books. Howard would tell him to leave. Vince was not happy, and he just wanted Howard to say that he knew. He wondered why Naboo hadn't said anything. His brain was always to fried to think straight, he'd decided. He hated his life now. He was still so confused about the parallel world and he wanted to know where Meghan was. He'd given up on her too. He hadn't even tried to find her. Instead, he went out with Jack La Cube and had tequila ice cubes. That had been genius. Frozen tequila. Right now, he was thinking about Howard, his lover, his boyfriend, his partner. He just wanted him right now. But he felt so ill, he wasn't sure if he'd make it home to him.

On this particular night, Vince had had about five Flirtinis and he'd somehow ordered a Scotch as well. He wasn't really sure why, but he didn't care as long as it gave him a kick. He liked the kick. Not the kick he got when he was thrown out of the pub though. Now, Vince found himself walking the rainy London streets late at night, drunk out of his mind, for the fifth time that week. It was Thursday, well Friday, but he had this gut feeling that he'd be out again the next two days as well. He didn't mind, it's what he always did. For the past three months, it was all he did at night. He could feel the sick rising from his stomach ad he vomited onto the street as a cyclist narrowly avoided hitting him.

"Hey!" The cyclist yelled to Vince, stopping after the near collision.

"Yeah?" Vince let out, groggily from the filthy kerb.

"You alright?" He said, leaning his bike down on the pavement and walking over to the sick man.

"I'm fine, I'm fine," Vince said, trying to keep his eyes in focus. "Are-are you alright, I almost knocked you off your bike there!"

"No, I'm used to it," he smiled, re-assuringly. "They're not so nice to cyclists in London."

It was then that Vince realized that the man had an accent. From what he could tell, the cyclist had blonde hair and quite possibly blue eyes. He was very Nordic looking and quite gorgeous, Vince pointed out to himself, smirking.

"Where're you from?" Vince asked, trying to stand himself up.

"Hey, hey, hey, you might want to sit down for a few more minutes. You're still looking quite woozy," he said, holding Vince's shoulder and taking a seat beside him. "And I'm from Copenhagen."

"Tha-that's in Denmark, isn't it?" Vince smiled.

"Yeah, it's the capital," he smiled.

"My boyfriend was in Denmark for two weeks last year," Vince said. "He doesn't talk about it though, cos he went to go be a big, professional actor, but he only ended up in the Windy Blast Fast commercial."

"The Jurgen Haabermaaster one?"

"That's the one!"

"With the angry crab of trapped wind?"

"Yeah, that's Howard...my Howard." Vince suddenly flashed a large drunken grin on his face."

"And where is he now?"

"Oh, he's at home. He's sleeping like a baby right now. A tiny, little baby!"

"Maybe you should call him," the Danish cyclist suggested. "He's probably worrying about you."

"Oh no, he's not worried. He's asleep. He never worries. Well, he does. But he doesn't know I've gone out. I never knows when I go out. It's me well kept secret," Vince whispered the last sentence and put a finger to his lips. "When I get home he's still sleeping where I left him, looking beautiful. What's your name?"

"Theodor. What's yours?"

"Vince Noir, Rock n' Roll Star," Vince slurred. "I'm the king of Dalston."

"I think I've heard of you. They say you throw the best parties."

"Oh yeah, the best! They're genius! Lots of girls, lots of alcohol!"

"Too much alcohol?"

"There's never too much alcohol!"

"I promise you, Vince, there is a point when there is too much alcohol. Like right now. You've had about four more than you'd usually have, and your starting to think you need one more drink."

"What?"

"Do you want another drink right now?"

"Yeah, it always makes me feel better. I'm going to have another when I get home."

"Yeah, you are."

"How do you know?"

"For one, you've just told me you will. And second, I've been there."

"Been where? My house?"

"No, I mean in your state."

"What state? Puking on the side of the road?"

"Yeah, I've puked on the side of the road after a very wild night out."

"My night wasn't very wild, thought, it was normal."

"That's because you're used to the insanity. It just feels like the kind of thing everyone would go to. You drink and drink until you're lying in an alley way wishing you were dead. Just wait, Vince, come December you'll be lying in a snow bank at two in the morning wishing someone would just stab you right then and there."

"But-"

"You drink after breakfast when you're boyfriend isn't looking. You don't necessarily know why you're hiding that from him, but for some reason it feels like a big secret. And it is. At lunch time you go to the closest store selling alcohol and buy a bottle of wine. You sit on the bench outside and drink it in what feels like two seconds. After slamming the bottle down on the bench, you go back in and buy two bottles this time. You bring them home and put them under the sink. One of them is always open for you to have a sip whenever you need it; the other you save for a special occasion, until the first bottle is empty, so you start drinking from that one. You've started drinking a lot of coffee and pour in enough tequila to drown out the original taste. Everything is alcohol. All you can think about is alcohol. On anniversary or birthday parties you're happy for the people, but all you can think about is what kind of wine they'll have there. When you're kissing your boyfriend you stop so you can go get another drink to help get you in the mood, but you're already too numb from the alcohol for it too help. You want to kill yourself-"

"How do you know so much about me?"

"Because you're an alcoholic," Theodor told him, coldly staring into Vince's bright blue eyes.

"No, no, I'm not," Vince laughed. "I can stop drinking any time I want to!"

"You tell yourself that and believe it, so you drink anyway, cos you think that you'll know when to stop."

"But...I do."

"You used to know when to stop."

"I do-don't know what you're talking about. Yeah, sure, I get drunk a lot, but so does everyone."

"Not everyone, Vince."

"That's ridiculous..." Vince trailed off and looked down at the glistening, wet pavement. "You know, London's beautiful at night."

"Yeah, it is."

"D'you miss Denmark, Theodor?"

"Yes, I miss Denmark a lot, but I get to go home every Christmas and during the summer holidays."

"But you like London?"

"Even though it's not very bicycle-friendly, I still love London too."

"I love London," Vince breathed. "I just wish I could see it clearly like I used to."

"You know you can get help, Vince," Theodor said. "You can go to meetings and meet other people like us."

"How did you do it?"

"I don't know," Theodor laughed, heartily, as if it was an inside joke. "Pure self-control."

"I don't have control," Vince whispered.

"If you come to a meeting, you'll meet lots of people who used to think that, but, like me, many of them haven't had a drink in a year."

Vince's head shot up, surprised, like a meerkat. "A year? How can you not have a drink in a year?"

"Self-control, self-motivation, but most of all self-respect. You've got to have self-respect or else you'll never make it."

"Erm..."

"Look, I'll give you my number," Theodor pulled out a pen and a piece of paper from his back pack and quickly scrawled his phone number down. "If you want to come to a meeting, call me. Or even if you just want to talk. You can rant to me about anything, I don't mind."

Vince took the paper and looked at it gingerly. "I don't know."

"Just think about it. It could do you a lot of good if you'd just try."

"Erm...thanks. I think...I think I'll be getting home now."

"Are you sure you don't want to call Howard?"

"You have a very good memory, don't you?"

"Yeah, I do actually."

"Then you'll remember that he's asleep. I don't want to wake him up, that's be mean. I can't be mean to Howard. I love him."

"Then maybe you should try for him?" Theodor said as he hopped on him bike.

"Try what?" Vince said, but Theodor was nearly round the corner by now.

"Call me!" Vince heard Theodor yell back at him as he turned on to the next street.

Vince stuffed the number into his pocket and jogged around the corner to the shop and up the flat.

The flat was full of grey light. Dark, pale grey light, but clearly sat at the sofa was Howard.

"Howard," Vince smiled, as he became more sober. "I missed you."

"Where were you?"

Vince walked over to him and sat beside him on the sofa. "I couldn't sleep, I went out for a walk."

"You smell disgusting."

"Oi!" Vince gasped.

"I was worried Vince," Howard said. "If you're going to go out, why don't you just tell me? I won't mind, but it freaks me out if I wake up and you're not in bed or the rest of the flat and you've left your mobile on the night stand."

"I'm sorry, Howard."

"Just this once, yeah?"

Vince looked up at him. He'd had no idea that he did this every night. "Yeah, Howard, just this once."

Howard kissed him on the cheek then got up. "Go have a shower and get ready for bed then I'll tell you a bed time story. What d'you think?"

"Well, a story? I'm not a child, Howard."

"I know, but I thought you might like that."

"Yeah, I guess I would," Vince laughed and headed towards the bathroom to run his shower.

'Just this once.' Vince thought...he was sure that he didn't have a drinking problem. Vince, an alcoholic? It was ridiculous! But all the same, he couldn't get what Theodor had said out of his head. He'd known everything. He'd known _everything_. So, it made him think. He decided that he'd call Theodor tomorrow, but only to say hi and maybe grab some coffee. He liked making new friends.

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**Please Review. It motivates me :DD**

**Love Winn xx**


	12. Matter of Time AND IT'S SO BORING sorry

**A/N: I AM SO SORRY, MEIN LIEBLINGS! I was at camp and then my friend was visiting from up north and then I was at the Exhibition and Toronto Fan Expo with my best friend and then I was lazy! But here is a lovely little boring chapter. But I have had terrible writer's block. The kind where you know what's going to happen but you don't know how to write it down. Bleurgh I KNOW!**

**And more angst...so I'm sorry.**

**Disclaimer: It ain't mine! But Theodor is and apparently Gemma is...she's only mentioned briefly**

**Enjoy (I doubt you will)**

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Vince stared at the Pret A Manger from the sidewalk across the street. He wasn't sure if he'd go in. He wasn't sure of anything these days, so it seemed that he probably would go in just to test. He could see Theodor through the window. He had earphones in and seemed to be watching something on his iPod.

He sighed and walked across the street to the coffee shop.

"Alright," Vince said, sitting down at Theodor's table.

"Hi, Vince!" he exclaimed pulling the buds out of his ears and turning of his iPod. "I wasn't sure if you'd come."

"To be honest, neither was I!" Vince smiled. "But, I really understood everything you told me, so...yeah." His face fell again.

"Look, I'll take you to a meeting and you can tell me what you thought," Theodor said. "Okay?"

"Yeah, sure," Vince mumbled. "Look, I told Howard I wouldn't be gone for long. I'm supposed to be working."

"Alright, you have my number. There's one tonight at 10 at St. Leonard, if you want to come."

"Erm, yeah, thanks," Vince said getting up from his chair and heading to the door. "I'll think about it."

And he did think about it. He thought about it and went to the meeting.

He hated it.

But something stopped him from ignoring them.

He'd go to a meeting and then upon arriving home have a glass of wine with Howard. It was no big deal. He was rewarding himself for going out and doing something good for himself instead of getting wasted.

He realized though, after a month that he started enjoying the meetings. He'd made friends and had actually started having fun.

His drinking suddenly came to a halt one day after his friend, Gemma, had gotten her one year. He was so proud of her, yet felt like he shouldn't be because he wasn't sober. Suddenly, it all came into perspective for him. If he was going to feel anything he had to let go of drinking. It wasn't doing him any good.

He still hadn't told Howard about the meetings. He was scared of how he'd react, but he knew it was time.

"I had my last drink today," he told him as they sat for dinner.

"What?" Howard said.

"I've stopped drinking."

Howard said nothing.

"Erm, Howard...I'm an alcoholic."

He still was silent.

"For the past month I've been going to AA meetings, but I've only just had my last drink."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Tell you what?"

"That you're an alcoholic."

"It's not something that you just know, Howard. It was sort of cycled into my face," Vince laughed at his own joke. Which had become a bit of inside joke for him and Theodor.

"Why are you laughing about this? It isn't funny!" Howard was angry, Vince could tell, but he was trying to keep everything as calm as possible.

"I know it's not funny, Howard! But I can't live without some sort of humour. I'm not getting anywhere being a pessimist."

"You've just told me that you're an alcoholic, Vince, I hardly think that's worth laughing about."

"I thought you would have known," Vince whispered. "I thought you would've been able to tell that I was out of control, that I had this disease!"

"It's not a disease," Howard scoffed. "It's just an idiotic addiction!"

"Yes, it is, Howard. Addiction is a disease. It's an allergy that you can't control. You don't know."

"You know what, I-uh, I don't want to look at you right now," he got up from the table and went downstairs to the Nabootique. Vince heard the downstairs door slam and he knew Howard was going out to try and clear his head.

"Howard! Please, we can work this out!" But he knew he'd have to give him time.

He grabbed his mobile from the counter and called Theodor.

"Hello?" Theodor's voice rang out through the phone.

"Hey, Theo, erm..."

"Vince?"

"Yeah...can I stay with you for a little while?"

"What's wrong?"

"I told Howard that-that," and he couldn't finish his sentence, because he couldn't hold his tears.

"Calm down, calm down, Vince," Theodor soothed down the phone. "I'll come pick you up, alright?"

"Yeah," Vince sniffed. "I'll go pack."

He left a note for Howard telling him to call him on his mobile when felt like it. He hadn't ended it with Howard. He never could. They both needed their space now. Vince needed to focus on getting better and Howard had to focus on accepting what Vince had told him.

It was just a matter of time.

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**Well, even though you're tearing your eyes out with boredom, please review anyway xD It would make me happy!**

**~Winn xx**


	13. Lucky 13 Well it is xD

**A/N: Hiya! So, I got this review that said I should give up this story! Ain't that nice? Well, let me tell you something, this motivated me to write more. I know there are quite a few people who enjoy this story and most definitely don't want me to give up, so I most definitely am not! I did understand what they were saying in the review. And I am sorry, cos I sort of accidentally on purpose used William as more of a plot device rather than the actual plot! SOOOOOO, I need some help to try and figure out how to re-do my summary...cos it's...crap :P**

**So, anywho, thank you for all of the reviews that were every bit as encouraging as the encouraging discouraging one. I do enjoy those ones as well, if not more xD**

**Also! I want to dedicate this chapter to Stronger Than A Moose for being a wonderful support for when I told her about that review. She's awesome! READ HER AWESOME STORIES! lesserthan333**

**Disclaimer: Do I look like I have good hair or a moustache? No...:( SO SAD! oh well...I own the William (AKA Mr. Plot Device!)  
**

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Vince was dreading going into work. Seeing Howard again was going to be very tense. Theodor encouraged him though. He told him that he had to talk to him. Not just about the fact of Vince's allergy, but of their relationship. He loved Howard and that needed to be clear. That needed to be all that mattered.

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Vince sat behind the counter in the Nabootique silently counting the days until his month of sobriety. Of course it had only been a week, but he was anxious as ever.

"Cuppa tea?" Howard asked, coming down the stairs with two steaming mugs.

"Cheers, Howard," Vince whispered, taking the mug and blowing on the boiling liquid.

"So, erm..." Howard said, thinking carefully of what he was going to say. "Who are you staying with?"

"My friend Theodor," Vince answered, sipping his tea. "He's in the program too."

"Awh..." Howard said, pursing his lips and scuffing the sole of his shoe on the linoleum. Vince could tell he was jealous.

"We're just friends, Howard," Vince smirked the tiniest bit. "Us, Howard, we're not...over, because of this. I love you and I know you still love me."

"Well, I don't trust you," Howard responded calmly.

"You could always trust me, Howard, I promise. I'm going to stay healthy! I'm going to be responsible."

Howard said nothing for a while, taking deep breaths, trying not to get angry.

"T-tell me about this Theodor fellow?"

"He's _just_ my friend, Howard. He has a wife and two kids. I promise."

"That's what they all say."

"Oh are you jealous and want me back now?"

"I thought you said we weren't over..."

"We're not, unless you want us to be."

"No, I...no, I want us to be together, I just need to...learn, I guess about your addiction."

"Do you really want to?"

"Yeah," Howard sighed. "I was clearly a bit harsh and I didn't mean to be, I was just scared."

"Howard, I want you to know that none of this was because of you."

"What?"

"The drinking. It wasn't because of you. I know that's what you're thinking. But you're not the reason I started, you're the reason I'm stopping."

Howard looked down at his shoes.

"Howard?" Vince could see a tear escape down his cheek and fall ever so gracefully to the floor.

"I love you," Howard sniffed. He set his mug down on the counter and took Vince's and placed it next to his own.

Vince basically pounced on him and kissed hard on the mouth holding on as tight as he could around Howard's neck.

"I love you, I love you, I love you," Vince squealed over and over again.

"Yep, I know," Howard laughed, sitting Vince down on top of the counter so they wouldn't fall over.

They kissed fondly and slowly for a while, just enjoying each other, until they heard the bell on the door ring.

They pulled apart and looked toward the approaching footsteps.

William.

"William." Vince breathed.

"You should go," Howard said to him sternly, walking forward.

"No, no, wait, Howard," Vince jumped down from the counter and followed Howard. "Erm, William, listen."

"What?" He said. You could here the unconditional hope in his voice.

"We've all been through a lot-"

"I know, I know, but-"

"Let me talk," Vince said, putting his hand up in front of him. "I'm-I'm not well, and you obviously are going through a lot of denial. Which is understandable. But, erm...I wanted to thank you for apologizing. For coming back and wanting forgiveness. I respect that."

"Vince, I-" William exclaimed, a smile growing on his face but he was rapidly cut off by Vince.

"But, it's still so hard, Will...I can't look at you." And he wasn't. He was looking just to the side of William. "I can't just forget what happened. And I _know_ I'm selfish, but any human life...William you just did it! You didn't even care! And it was _me_, William! Your brother! I can't just forget...it will always be there just...hanging! The spell made it worse, William...The spell...I have memories of you sitting in hospital with me, taking care of me after getting shot by your bloody idiot friend, but those aren't real. Do you think it's fair that I have to remember a lie as well? Knowing that you fucked with my mind! All of our minds! It's just sick! So, yes, I may have found a bit of respect for you coming and trying...but...I don't think I can ever fully forgive you." He took a deep breath, his hands shaking. He'd been feeling ill and he knew he was coming down with a cold because of the lack of alcohol, but he knew he wouldn't be having another drink because of this. He wasn't going to let himself. "I am...proud...that you've gotten your life pulled together. It's good, good you're married and that you're happy, but I can only be happy if you stop trying to push yourself into my life. So, please, stop trying. You can call for birthdays or whatever, but don't make it a habit. I won't be very welcoming to _you_."

"Okay..." William sighed. "I...erm...I'm sorry. And...thank you."

"You're welcome," Vince whispered. "Please go now."

And William left. The bells rang out again as the door opened and closed. Vince felt...relieved.

"I think..I just needed to talk," Vince told Howard as he was pulled into his arms. "I needed to say what I felt, so he'd finally listen."

"I'm proud of you," Howard said, kissing the top of Vince's head.

"Thank you."

And they stood there for what felt like an eternity just loving each other, because what was there to do?

Well, maybe run the shop, but they could forget about that for a while.

* * *

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**LOVE YOU!**

**~Winn xx  
**


	14. Your love is my NO I FUCKING HATE KESHA

**A/N: pedal stool.**

**Warning: Last chapter! **

**Thingy that will overwrite warning: There will be an epilogue. ;)**

**Disclaimer: I also don't own the amazing mirror ball chelsea boots I saw today. They were sequined and everything!**

* * *

It was, of course, raining. Vince had nothing better to do than to sit and draw circles with his finger on the window. That took up enough of his time, because he'd decided that he'd made a great design that would sell for millions if it was a painting. He couldn't see the design, though. So, the painting wouldn't be made. This made him sad, and even more bored.

If he wasn't sober this would be one of those times when he'd go into the cupboard under the sink and grab the bottle of wine Naboo had safely hidden behind all of the cleaning products. Vince had found it because he'd been desperate. He was always desperate. He was desperate now...

But not quite that desperate. Well, he was actually, but he'd mastered the art of pure self-control and wasn't going to give up on himself.

He was proud. And that was more than he could have said three months ago. He was very proud.

Howard was proud too. And to Vince that was more important than finding it in himself.

Vince told himself everyday that it was just one step at a time and he'd make it to his one-year. But every time he thought about his medallion a panic attack would begin to rise and he'd have to take a step back...towards a bottle. He never drank anything. He _had_ mastered the art of self-control. And it really was an art. Not an obvious beautiful art or anything, but a calm and peaceful art. It was the kind of art you'd see sitting gracefully on a sun-lit wall. A homely art. Not something that you have to go to a gallery to see.

One day at a time. That's what it took. He got up in the morning, he planned his day, and he took his life one day, hour, minute, second at a time. As long as he needed to conjure up his thoughts and feelings so he could breathe and face the world.

One day at a time.

Vince heard the door creak open and then there was a light knock.

"Vince?" Howard's smiling voice wafted softly into the room.

Vince turned to him from the window and grinned, wider than he had in...a few hours. "Alright?"

"Yeah, what're you thinking about?" Howard asked, coming forwards and sitting beside Vince on the bed.

"Life," sighed Vince. But it was a contented sigh. Nothing shaky, nothing forced.

"We're all thinking about life," Howard said, putting his arm around Vince and kissing the top of his head.

"Oi, don't you be putting your filthy lips in my hair!" Vince scolded. "I worked hours on this masterpiece. One tiny touch of your kisser and the world is turned upside down!"

"Well, where do you want me to put them?" Howard smirked.

"Cheeky," said Vince and stood up, heading out of their room.

"Hey, where do you think you're going?"

"To the kitchen," he replied.

"Oh no, I don't think so!" Cried Howard, pulling Vince's arm. They fell, then bounced, laughing, onto the bed.

They lay in each other's arms. That sentence could have been so much more exciting, but it was just as simple as that. So, they lay in each other's arms.

"I like these sheets," Vince hummed into Howard's chest.

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"But they're...brown."

"Well, the colour is ghastly, but they feel nice."

"It's flannel, Vince."

"Flannel?"

"Haven't you heard of flannel before?"

"I've heard of flan."

"That's a custard, Vince, not a material."

"Yeah, I know, but they sure are tasty!" Vince exclaimed. "I had a flan with a bottle of rum before, it was great. I remember cos I got the flan all over Leroy's new trousers. He was well angry. But we were both really pissed. Yeah, that was hilarious-"

"Can you not talk about that, please?"

"About what?"

"About your drinking as if it was a laugh."

"Howard," Vince said sitting up. "You need to understand that that was a very dark and unhealthy time for me-"

"I do understand that!"

"Yes, and the only way I can really get better is if I have a sense of humour. I know it isn't funny. I was there, Howard. I know what it was like. But if you can't find humour in anything, you'll be dull and boring and...angry. I don't want to be angry, Howard. If you can't find a light in the darkness then you'll never make it out of the tunnel, alright?"

"Alright...but-"

"Howard, I'm not making fun of my illness, I'm just not letting it get to me."

"Now, you're talking like you have cancer or something."

"You can die of alcoholism too."

"I don't want to think about that."

"Neither do I. Which is why I can joke. Okay?"

"Yeah," Howard smiled. "Okay."

"Good," Vince said. "I'm tired. Let's get under this flannel and sleep."

"You really like the flannel?"

"Yeah, love it, but don't, you know, tell Leroy."

"No, I won't."

And they snuggled beneath the flannel sheets together all cozy and fell asleep.

* * *

Upon waking up the boys heard a low and raspy scream from the door.

Bollo.

They laughed. Naboo and Bollo, though supportive of Vince and Howard's relationship, were still a bit weirded out by the fact that they were together. It just didn't really seem right in their heads.

"Bollo not want to see that!" He growled, setting a tray with two cups of tea on it down on the bedside table then running out.

There wasn't anything necessarily sketchy about their position. During the night, Vince had had to take his jeans off as he'd forgotten to after they'd gotten comfortable. And Howard had gradually become very hot, and stripped of his turtle neck. The blanket was mostly on Howard, leaving Vince only wrapped in Howard's arms and one of his legs hooked limply around Howard's. It wasn't _that_ compromising.

"Tea?" Howard groaned, sitting up and reaching across to the mugs.

"Mmmm," breathed Vince, propping himself up on his elbow. He looked up at Howard who was sitting with his back against the headboard and a brown mug in one hand. "Hey, Howard?"

"Yeah?"

"I was thinking, maybe, if you wanted..."

"What?"

"Maybe we should get our own flat," he said, grinning.

"We probably should, yeah. Naboo and Bollo would say the same thing," he laughed.

Vince sat up to and pulled the blanket over his exposed legs. "Sounds like a plan then."

"It's not much of a plan. More along the lines of a brief idea."

Vince chuckled and grabbed his mug, sipping and wincing at the heat.

"A good idea though."

"Yeah, a good idea."

"Oh my God, Howard!" Vince suddenly exclaimed.

"What?"

"This is such a big step for us! And we're coming on our six months anniversary soon too! Howard! Howard, I can't believe it!"

"What?" He repeated.

"We're a couple!"

"Yeah, we are. Did you only just notice?"

"No, no, but Howard! We do couply things. I don't even think about anyone else. Joan Jett's well sexy and I don't even care anymore! It's real, Howard! We're real! We're a _real _couple!"

"Vince, I just want to say..."

"What?"

"I love you." He smiled.

"I love you too! And I promise, I'm going to make it to one year sober and everything, everything will be perfect!"

"I'm so proud of you, Vince. You know that?"

"Yeah, I know that Howard!"

And for the rest of the morning they sat in bliss with each other just for the sake of it. The sake of love. And Vince found that a very cheesy line, but he didn't really give a fuck because when you're in love that's all that matters. Cheesy lines just make up a good full course meal of true love. Yeah, Vince liked cheesy lines.

But as he thought about love, he also thought about lost love. Meghan. Where was she now? He didn't understand how they could have lost touch. After a while he gave up on trying to track her down, it was to depressing and would always end in him crying to the operator. He couldn't do with that. He hoped she was happy. He thanked Jagger he was happy, but thought that it was probably sorely unfair if Meghan wasn't either.

As they both finished their tea, Vince said while putting their mugs back on the tray, "Where do you think Meghan is, Howard?"

"Canada?"

"Yeah, but do you think she's happy? Do you think she's married or got kids or anything?"

"I don't know, Vince. She might do...you're not...jealous, are you?"

"No, of course not, I'm just hoping she's happy. Cos I don't think it would be fair for me to be so happy and her not to be."

"Ah, okay. I'm sure she is, Vince. I'm sure she is."

"D'you reckon I should try and find her again?"

"Vince, that was so long ago. You remember what happened, I don't want to hear anymore bawling from you telling the operator that her voice had the same tone as Meghan's but slighty lower. No operator wants to hear that. And I doubt Meghan would want to hear that either, operators are all monotone."

"Is it just me, or did you sound a lot like me there?"

"What?"

"You spend too much time with me, Howard," laughed Vince, slipping his hand into Howard's.

"Ridiculous, I spend an unnatural amount of time with you."

"What's that rubbish? Unnatural? It's not unnatural if you're couple, you nonce!"

Howard simply shook his head and kissed Vince softly.

"That's a bit unnatural though," giggled Vince, pulling Howard closer. He was surprised that even after months of this, it never got old. Actually, each time seemed new. And he couldn't get enough. Howard's love was his drug, and he hated that song, but the title made so much sense to him.

_This is perfect_, Vince thought to himself, forgetting all about the day.

* * *

**Thanks so much for reading guys! You've all been lovely. So much love to you all!**

**Don't forget to review, children!**

**~Winn xx**


	15. Epifuckinglogue

**A/N: So, thank you so much to all of you fucking beautiful people! I love you. You've been so lovely. I can't say say thank you enough. So I'll say it a bit in German. DANKE DANKE DANKE! **

**Disclaimer: OMNOMNOMNOMS on Theo and Gemma. But for the rest of them...well...:'(**

**Enjoy this random short flipping epilogue!**

**

* * *

**

Vince's birthday was like any party with him. Loud, colourful, sparkly, and completely focussed on him.

"It's a party for Vince Noir with no alcohol!" Vince laughed. "It's sacrilegious."

"It's admirable," Theo said, pulling Vince into a tight hug. "We're all so proud of you!"

"One year sober today, Theo," Vince sighed. "It's been a long year."

"You made it, Vince! And I know you can keep at it."

"You know what, this whole conversation is way too cheesy for me to have," Vince said, looking over Theo's shoulder and spotting Howard coming from the hallway. "So, I'm going to leave you and go snog my boyfriend."

Theo laughed and pat Vince's shoulder, "Alright, you have fun."

Vince wandered up to Howard and smiled. "Well, fancy meeting you here, Mr. Moon."

"Mr. Noir, I was just thinking the same thing! What brings you hear on this fine evening?"

"Well, I've not had a drink of alcohol in a year, though I do hope to find my way back to the life of booze and jazz!"

Howard smirked, "Well...Millie, I'm sure we can get you back out there again."

"Oh, you are a gentleman!"

"Stop LARPing and go shag already!" Gemma, who was a petite 23 year old with curly blonde bob, screeched at the couple as she walked past them.

"I can't believe you watched Thoroughly Modern Millie," Howard whispered as he took Vince's hand and led him down the hallway.

"I can't believe you didn't force me to watch it a long time ago!"

"Well, because I always played bad jazz to you, to annoy you. I only listened to good jazz on my own. Thoroughly Modern Millie is good jazz."

"You're ridiculous."

"And you're sexy," Howard growled, dragging Vince into their bedroom and slamming the door behind them. "Congratulations, Vince."

"Thanks, Howard," Vince said, holding him tight.

Howard all of a sudden dipped Vince down so his head was only a foot and half above the floor. "I love you."

"I love you too, Howard," Vince giggled as he was just as quickly pulled up and his lips were captured in Howard's.

Nothing could beat a happy ending. The moon liked happy endings. But he was a big white, creamy invalid. He wasn't really that important.

* * *

**Toodle Loo. I'm hoping that maybe I'll come up with some more ideas for the wonderful Boosh archive...you know...Howince.**

**Thank you again!**

**~Winn xx**


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